It’s that time again! Want me to send you a Christmas card?

Image by the fabulous Stuart F Taylor

I know it’s only November, but I need to get Christmas cards ordered now, and I also need to do some Patreon plugging if I’m going to keep the lights on at GOTN HQ when 2023 rolls in. Those of you who’ve been here a while will know that each year Stuart – who draws the gorgeous illustrations that add so much beauty to this site – draws a special sexy Christmas card that I send out to Patreons to say thanks for supporting my work. If you’d like one, sign up now and you can also join us for the hangout on November 20th.

How to get a Christmas card from me

This is super easy, I promise: all you need to do is support me at any level and you’ll receive a message at the start of December asking for your address (which also functions as consent to send you a card – I don’t ever send anything out automatically, because consent is important). You just reply with your address and then go camp out by your letterbox, tapping your feet and getting hotly excited for the moment when your card will drop through the door.

If you don’t celebrate Christmas, then consider it purely a holiday card: something to say thanks to you for keeping this site up and running and helping me bring more accessible, inclusive smut to your ears.

If you’re up for doing an annual sub (around £22/$21 at the lowest tier at time of writing), you’ll get a 16% discount on what you’d pay if you paid monthly – this is the max discount Patreon will allow and I’ll keep it like that until after Christmas.

Why should you support me on Patreon?

Firstly, I do loads of stuff there. Recently, an interview with one of the lovely dudes who is kind enough to bang me, and in the past I’ve also done interviews with my awesome pal Jess, plus a fun sex quiz with my parents. You get early access to new audio, the chance to give input into what I record next, and you also get to come hang out on Zoom occasionally, chatting to me and others on my lovely team about the audio project and what’s coming up next.

The next Patreon hangout will be on Sunday November 20th, 6-8pm UK time, and I’m calling this one the ‘unpublished sessions’. Alongside a Q&A and audio project update, I’ll let you pick which readings you’d like to hear – this time the starter list will be made up entirely of posts that have never been published on the blog. Some of them maybe won’t ever be published. You lot can help me decide. Think stories that are either too horny for the blog, too dark, and maybe if you’re lucky and I get drunk enough, some terrible teen-angst poetry. WOOO.

Plus, did I mention you also get one of these gorgeous Christmas cards? Oh! And the chance to remove all on-site ads. If you’re logged in to Patreon, you can rub one out to the audio porn you’ve helped to create, and never again need to skip through ads in which I drone on about how you should support me on Patreon.

Subscribe (for free) if you can

I know I wang on a lot about Patreon, but you can also subscribe to this blog for free just to stay up to date with posts. My posting schedule used to be fairly rigid – with new posts from me going live on  Sundays and Wednesdays, new guest blogs on Fridays, and new audio on Thursdays and Saturdays. However I’m going to be a bit more flex with the schedule for the next few months so subscribing for updates via email is a good plan if you don’t want to miss anything.

Also, you know, Twitter’s going down the pan. So subscribing via email means you can stay up to date with the blog even as Elon throws yet another tantrum. As an incentive to subscribe, I’ll pick twenty active users at random from the mailing list at the start of December, and offer you a Christmas card too.

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