Category Archives: Unsolicited advice

You don’t have to wear heels to go dancing

You don’t have to wear heels to go dancing. You don’t have to dress in sparkles or tight skirts if that’s not your thing. The t-shirt you’ve got with the faded band logo from the concert you went to five years ago? That’ll do. Those comfy trainers can help you throw shapes without twisting your ankle or starting to ache, and you just don’t need to wear heels to go dancing.

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Sex toy hacks: turning my Fleshlight Launch into a spunk milking machine

Sometimes a girl just gets an idea that won’t leave her head until she has made it happen. And when I first saw The Big Gay Review’s post about the Fleshlight Launch, I realised that this automated dick-stroking gadget could potentially be adapted to make one of my sexiest dreams come true: the dream I have about orgasm, and watching a guy get milked of all his lovely spunk. So I nagged Fleshlight, got them to send me a Launch, then settled down in my workshop to build a thing. Behold: The Machine.

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Christmas presents to fill your orifices and also the void in your soul

I’ve never done a proper guide to Christmas presents before – one where I actually recommend products to buy. That’s because I am absolutely Shit At Business. I suck at writing the more commercial blog posts because it sounds more boring to tell you to buy a sex toy than to tell you exactly why it turned me on. BUT this year at least two (TWO!) people have asked me for gift recommendations, so I’m going to give you a list of Christmas presents that you can buy for other people or yourself. It includes sex toys, books, and some non-sex-related things that I just think are really cool.

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The power of hugs, and the myth of the male protector

I took him by the hand and led him through the kitchen, then along the hallway and to the bottom of the stairs. I stood up on one step, smiled at him, then wrapped both of my arms around him in a giant hug. “This is what it feels like when you hug me,” I told him. “And this is why I love your hugs.”

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Erofame 2017: I fucked a penguin

Behold, internet gang: I bring you sex toy news from across the sea. Recently I travelled to Hannover for the sex industry trade show Erofame. If you’ve never heard of Erofame before, I can sum it up by telling you that it is basically a giant warehouse full of sex toys, and a bunch of friendly people who are very keen to sell them. Most of the people there were either buyers or sellers, so I felt a little like the weird girl who’d turned up armed with nothing but a camera phone and a penchant for bumming. But I guess that’s appropriate, because it’s exactly what I am. Read on to see some of the most interesting things I spotted at Erofame, including gooey bath liquid that you can roll around and fuck in, a slow-motion video of the most terrifying sex toy on Earth, and a penguin that sucked off my clit. Ready? Let’s go.

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