Category Archives: The human body

Why you should let me borrow your boyfriend

Firstly, welcome! Thank you so much for coming. Please help yourself to coffee and cake – I made three different kinds of cake because I’d like to make sure there’s something you enjoy. I admire and respect and very desperately want to impress you. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for your time today, and I’ll try not to waste a single second of it, so let’s get stuck in. I’ve prepared a brief presentation on why you should let me borrow your boyfriend.


ElectraStim Explorer finger pads and the joy of nerdy sponsors

One of the most common misconceptions about electro-sex is that it hurts. It’s an understandable misconception, but to be honest we could say the same of almost any sex thing. That glass dildo is pretty fun if you’re sticking it in your cunt, but you wouldn’t want someone to clip you round the ear with it. That flogger feels like the most satisfying back scratch in the world if you wield it gently, but if you swing it like you’re standing in front of a ‘Test Your Strength’ machine it’s guaranteed to smart. Today I want to tell you about the new ElectraStim Explorer finger pads, while explaining why electro-sex does not have to hurt.


In which I use Godemiche grind rings the wrong way

Welcome, take a seat. You’ll find a heartfelt apology letter inside an envelope just beneath it. This is the first in what will likely be a series of ‘GOTN uses sex toys in ways they were not technically designed for, because she does not have a boyfriend.’ Today I’m gonna be taking two Godemiche grind rings – genuinely fascinating and (as far as I know) unique sex toys, and attempting to grind out an orgasm while using them in a way that I don’t think was intended, but which I enjoyed nonetheless. Let’s go.


Things that aren’t horny but totally feel horny

Sometimes I wonder if I’m horny or if life just deals out a bunch of sensations that kind of feel horny even though they’re not technically stimulating the sexy bits. In no particular order (and with an invitation to add your own in the comments), here are some things that aren’t horny but feel horny. You’ll get what I mean.


Vaginal inspection: the most intimate thing I ever did

This isn’t sexy. OK, it might be sexy. If you like cunts. But then if you like cunts, the way I write about them is going to seem bizarre and maybe even horrible to you. So I may well be about to take something you find sexy and absolutely ruin it. Here goes: I am disgusted by the inside of my body, and therefore I’m disgusted by my cunt, and so what I’m about to tell you is the most intimate thing I have ever done.

This post about vaginal inspection involves extreme and sometimes gross/shamey descriptions of the human body, especially (obviously) the vagina.