What I’m looking for in a vibrator depends very much on my current state of mind. Sometimes I’m after a vigorously efficient orgasm that rockets into my life and makes me feel like I’ve been run over by a sexy freight train – during those times I’d reach for my Doxy. If what I’m looking for instead is a precision wank, where all the pleasure is directed to exactly the right spot on my clit, concentrated and magnified like a shaft of sunlight that eventually bursts into flame: Zumio. If I need something guaranteed to make me come nice and hard around a dick I’m fucking, the vibe I’ll slip into my lover’s hand then press tightly against my clit is the Hot Octopuss Amo. Unfortunately for the great people at We-Vibe, when they sent me the brand new Nova 2, what I was looking for in a vibrator was something that could help me forget that I just broke up with the man I love, in the middle of a pandemic, financially fucking myself over and effectively ripping out my own heart. It had – to put it mildly – one hell of a job to do.
There’s something intensely and deliciously powerful about grinding on someone’s cock. Not bouncing up and down like I’m performing a sweaty porn workout, but grinding. Getting properly stuck in to the sensations of wet flesh pressed tight against my clit. Lovely. Today I’m going to talk about grinding, in the context of a sex toy that’s designed for exactly that: the Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo Lux.
There are some things I can’t do myself, and testing out a brand new device aimed at helping people with premature ejaculation issues is, sadly, one of them. Luckily for me, CJ Brook (@CJBrook_) was on hand to step in – valiantly and eagerly agreeing to put the MyHixel TR through its paces. MyHixel is one of my newest site sponsors – they used research on premature ejaculation to create a device plus app-based training programme designed to help you delay your time to orgasm. There are two different devices – the TR (reviewed here), which focuses on climax control, and the MED which is more tailored to premature ejaculation. How does ‘climax control’ training work? Penis-owner and excellent guest blogger CJ Brook is here to tell you. You’ve met him before, in this fabulous post about cloning his dick, and this other one on butt plugs and the joy of a great hotel wank. What did he make of the MyHixel? Let’s see…
CN: Coronavirus, lockdown, anxiety. I know not everyone wants to read stuff that talks about this, so please don’t feel like you have to. I wrote it a week ago and didn’t publish it then, despite the fact that Stuart drew this gorgeous image for it and I felt genuinely ready to put it live. It basically amounts to tediously mad dispatches from the inside of my lockdown bubble, and it’s not great, but maybe publishing it will make it easier to write the next thing, and then hopefully the next one after that.
When people Skype or Zoom or WhatsApp or email you to ask how you’re doing, what do you say? Do you say ‘Oh, I’m fine…’ ellipsis to show the deep breath you took as you processed what your brain was actually telling you before continuing ‘…you know, given the circumstances’? Do you say ‘well the kids are driving me up the wall but at least I’ve got gin and Netflix lol’? Or do you tell the full and unvarnished truth?
My partner has a teeny constellation of beauty spots just above and to the left of his belly button. They are one of my favourite things about his body. Well, I mean… apart from his dick and his eyes and his hands and his wrists and… look I just really love quite a lot of bits of his body, OK? I am shocked – SHOCKED – that I have not yet waxed lyrical about how gorgeously beautiful moles and beauty spots are, and why I love them so much.