Category Archives: Boys I’ve had

The best aphrodisiac? Your dirty little secrets

What’s the best aphrodisiac in the entire world? Contrary to opinion, I don’t think it comes in food form. Nor is it based on how you look. It’s not your tits or arse or eyes or even hands. Not the way you walk or your sexy accent or the sounds you make when your dick throbs painfully against the inside of your boxer shorts. The quickest way to turn me on is to tell me your dirty little secrets.

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When you introduce your partner to your friends

It may be easy to introduce your partner to your friends if you’re dating someone with infinite swagger. But my partner is often quite shy. When I introduce him to my friends, he’s nervous and unsure – will they like him? Will they see in him what I do? Will the start of the evening – all shuffled feet and polite chitchat and coughing and staring at phones – eventually meld into one big conversation, when he gets swallowed into the group until no one can remember that he only met them four hours ago?

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Pedestals and playfulness: notes on my muse

He breezes into the kitchen, grins at me in a self-satisfied way and proudly tells me “look!” before whipping out his cock. And I think ‘Ahh… my muse.’ My beloved muse. My weird, nerdy, playful, dodgy, nervous wreck of a muse.

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No, I’m sorry. You can’t break up with me.

A random selection of ridiculous reasons why boys aren’t allowed to break up with me. FYI.

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Anything he wants: love, piss and foolishness

Have you ever met someone for whom you’d do almost anything? This is a story about a guy like that, and a thing he asked me to do. As with so many unusual and horny things from my past, I’d completely forgotten about this incident until I was reminded of it by a tweet. It’s about piss, and love, and that foolishness you catch when you’re irrationally hot for someone.

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