Picture the scene: a delightful sexy person has either sent you a nude selfie, or allowed you to take nude photos of them. You, proud that you own such a blessed image, are boasting to your pals about its hotness, which is so intense it’s practically burning a hole in your phone. Your mates ask for a quick peek of the treasured pic. Are you allowed to show them?

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Have you ever met someone for whom you’d do almost anything? This is a story about a guy like that, and a thing he asked me to do. As with so many unusual and horny things from my past, I’d completely forgotten about this incident until I was reminded of it by a tweet. It’s about piss, and love, and that foolishness you catch when you’re irrationally hot for someone.

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When the fuck is done, he doesn’t ask why I’m crying. Even though this is make up sex, and this weeping is more intense than any that’s come before. He doesn’t ask why, he just holds me. Kneeling on the floor, with my arms wrapped round his neck, and his spunk rapidly cooling on the inside of my thighs, I sob and sob and sob. And he doesn’t ask me why.

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In romantic contexts, I’ve often heard people say thank you to their lovers for teaching them what ‘love’ really means. Today, I want to thank the man who taught me the true meaning of ‘fuck buddy.’

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He walks in, cock already hard. One hand on the waistband of his trousers. He slams the door behind him with his foot and says, simply: “D’you want to bend over and get fucked?”

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