This job isn’t all wanking and audio porn – sometimes it involves a lot of boring admin. But one of the nice things about it is that even on the dullest of days, when I’m buried in spreadsheets and invoices, I can receive two incredible messages barely an hour apart from men telling me how fun it is to watch their jizz bounce on the vibrating pad of a sex toy. One was via DM from the lovely CJBrook_, who (correctly) surmised I might be interested in ‘what effect the inside vibrating pad has on a load of spunk’, and the other came in this glorious review. If you’re curious about dick vibrations, and specifically the unique, thrumming intensity of the Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Essential (keyword for Google – did you spot it?), then I hope you enjoy this delightfully fun account of my anonymous guest blogger’s first ever Pulse wank.

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This incredible glory hole erotica, by Cara Thereon, originally appeared on her website. It is read here by Tabitha Rayne.

The plywood floor was surprisingly clean. Something about that increased Tess’s certainty about coming to this particular establishment. She slipped out of her jeans, pushed her panties down her legs, and pulled her tank top off. She folded it all up and sat it on the metal folding chair near the door.

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This fabulous lingerie erotica is written by Floss Liddell, and originally appeared on her website. It is read aloud here by Sherryl Blu. 

‘Lingerie is for everyone, and I think it’s about time you discovered what kind of lingerie is for you.’

Kneeling at my feet, he looks up at me, eyes wide, cock hard and while the gag between his teeth prevents him from speaking his body language is enough to let me know that on some level my plan excited him.

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This gorgeous quickie erotica is written by Cara Thereon, read here by Girl on the Net. 

“Bit hot tonight, aren’t ya?”

She ignored his talking and pressed his back against the door so she could get to work on his clothes. He’d come straight from work, clad in a suit and smelling of sandalwood and coffee. The quickness of his reply to her text said he was just as interested, but all he’d done since she’d pull him into her apartment was talk.

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The other night, I missed the moment he came. It wasn’t the end of the world, naturally – I miss plenty of his orgasms, because most of them happen when he’s alone. The spaff goes unobserved, as he beats it into a tissue or one of the wank rags I bought for ecological reasons (and also pervy reasons – we’ll get to this in a second). But on this particular occasion, I was a bit sad about missing his cum shot. So he invented a new game for me to play: CSI: Wank.

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