This blog post started out as an exploration of why it would be sexy for a monster to devour me, and turned into something approaching an actual scary story. Please don’t read if you’re easily freaked out by things like death, blood and devourment. On the other hand, if you love creepy Halloween sex stuff, this might be your cup of tea.

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Before I begin, allow me a minute to put off 50% of you: this is not erotic fiction about what to do on your wedding night. It’s not a post about a romantic fuck at the end of your special day, or how to arouse your partner on the wedding night even though you’ve been together five years and you’re bored of the sight of their bollocks by now. If that’s what you’re after, then please pick up your warm white wine and move on to another buffet: this wedding night fuck is dirty.

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What exactly is IMDb erotica? Well. Last night, a gentleman and I were trying to choose which film to watch. We were tired, so wanted something with the right level of vague tittilation but zero intellectual merit.

On our search, we found possibly one of the most beautiful things in the world: IMDB erotica.

By which I mean “the content notes for films on IMDB.” They’re poetic, delicious, hilarious run-downs of all the sexy bits in the film, as written by a breathless youth who is probably halfway through a wank. Observe:

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I have a bit of a fascination with old-school ghost stories. Séances and ectoplasm and the like. When I was younger I used to devour ghost stories, most of which purported to be true accounts. I am also a fan of sexy, surreptitious flirting – hot touches in the dark which no one else can see, and just the two of you know about and enjoy. I love the link between scary stuff and sexy stuff, and to this day I struggle to watch a creeping-dread-horror film with someone I like without wanting to slide my hand down their pants halfway through.

So when Rachel Kramer Bussel asked if I wanted to post an extract from her latest erotica collection, there was one story that really stood out to me. The short story, by Valerie Alexander, is called Demimonde, and it takes place at a séance. It gave me all of the sexy shivers, and reminded me of a story I should tell you about sometime.

An extract is reposted with her permission below, and you can buy the full book – Best Women’s Erotica of the year (Vol 1) here.

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There’s an amazing community of sex bloggers who write delicious smut, post gorgeous pictures, and generally keep the world of hotness turning, and until now I’ve been rubbish at joining in with all the fun weekly memes and story competitions that they run. So my resolution for this month (and next as well if I can keep it up) is to Join In with at least one thing each week – Sinful Sunday, Wicked Wednesday, and others too.

To start I thought I’d have a bash at writing some fiction. The awesome @sexblogofsorts, who I have a huge writers’ crush on because she writes so beautifully, is running a short story competition. The deal is she gives you the name of a lipstick, and you use that as the title for your story. Unfortunately, I’ve not written much fiction before, so I’m a bit ham-fisted with it, and my fiction stories always tend toward the ‘teenage goth’ genre. I was going to try and avoid teenage goth, but then @sexblogofsorts gave me my title, and it was “Sin” so…

The following story is possibly blasphemous, so if you’re super-religious you might not enjoy it. It’s also a dirty sex story, obviously, so best not to read it on the bus.

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