I like to think the world has moved on since I started sex blogging nearly fifteen years ago, but there are some terrible ideas that still won’t die. One of these is the false belief that if you’re in a monogamous relationship, you owe your partner a certain amount of sex to prevent them from straying. If you’re busy/tired/overworked? Just make a sex schedule! Set aside a specific time and make yourself do it, even if you aren’t in the mood. While I’m all up for scheduling quality time or date nights, I find the idea of ‘scheduled sex’ pretty grim. Because even if you love the person who wants it, the fact remains that you never have to have sex if you don’t want to.

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CN: transphobia.

Late on Friday night the Equalities and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) released an ‘interim update’, offering advice to businesses and public bodies in which it tells them that “trans women (biological men) should not be permitted to use the women’s facilities and trans men (biological women) should not be permitted to use the men’s facilities”. The update also notes that “in some circumstances the law also allows trans women (biological men) not to be permitted to use the men’s facilities, and trans men (biological woman) not to be permitted to use the women’s facilities”. This is in response to the UK Supreme Court judgment last week which defined ‘woman’ as someone who is ‘biologically female’. A judgment the court told us “does not remove protection from trans people” is immediately being used as the justification to try and remove important protections from trans people. I think the judgment is profoundly wrong and deeply harmful.

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Today’s guest blogger has a message for Harrison Butker, the football player (and traditional Catholic) who decided to use a commencement speech at Benedictine College in the US to make some pretty alarming statements about society. Violet Grey is a fabulous sex blogger who runs her own site at Becoming Violet Grey, and she’s guest blogged for me before with some gorgeously horny femdom fiction, as well as excellent rants on being a submissive feminist and the harm caused by Hollywood’s ‘bury your gays’ trope. Violet is a bisexual woman and a practicing Anglican (specifically, the Anglo-Catholic tradition) who has absolutely no time for misogyny, homophobia, and the other things Butker was advocating in his speech…

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What does it mean to be a feminist man? I tend to assume that most people who read this blog regularly would identify as ‘feminist’, but when I was on dating sites I found a lot of men with profiles that expressed a vague ick about labelling themselves as such. The idea that men would publicly say ‘I am a feminist’ can clearly be a bit controversial, but personally I think that a lot of the work of feminism – especially when it comes to the basics (pointing out day-to-day gendered expectations and beliefs, challenging other men on sexist microaggressions or intervening in harassment) we could really do with having more men step up and give us a hand. Alongside assuming you’re all feminists, I also likely make a lot of assumptions about the things most of the men reading already know about when it’s good to step in if you spot inequality in action. But I’m probably wrong to assume that, and I’m grateful to Paul for dropping by with an overview of what it means to him to be a feminist man. What actions does he take on a daily basis that other men could do well from copying? Take it away Paul…

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The jury is no longer out on why Pete Davidson gets to shag so many incredibly hot A-list celebrity women. For a long time, the rumour was that he had a giant cock or some incredible sexual skill that no one else could possibly have mastered. But nowadays it’s accepted (at least, in the circles I run in) that the reason PD gets so much A is because he’s a decent bloke.

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