So many of you will know that delicious, aching joy of wanting to shag someone but having nowhere to do it. Surreptitious touches in pubs and parks which just wind you up even more when you realise there’s nowhere to hide while you vent your frustrations on each other. This week’s guest blog, by Fajolan (who has written before about similarly delicious handsy-horny frustration), is all about that kind of horniness, with the bonus of an innovative way to ‘go get a room’ when there are no rooms to go to.
“I don’t really do phone sex,” I say to him, as I shuffle across the bedroom with my trousers partway down, reaching for a dildo and my Zumio. He replies “yeah, I know,” and in the background I can hear him beating away at his cock.
The fabulous @EuphemiseThis has been kind enough to share lots of sexy adventures here on the blog. From getting spanked by a couple in their hotel room to her tryst with a burlesque goddess, velvet fetishes and forbidden fucks. I am honoured that she’s up for sharing this gorgeous story too – about getting invited to her first threesome. Frankly, after uploading this, I am envious. And also massively horny.
Note: this post includes a sexy role-play scenario which touches on somnophilia (fucking someone while they sleep) and is only ever hot with someone I trust absolutely, with whom I’ve discussed this kink in the past, who knows how I can withdraw consent if I want to. It is not – and should never be – a ‘how to’ guide on fucking. Don’t do this unless you have the express consent of the person with whom you’re doing it.
Please try not to judge me when I tell you that sometimes I like guys to fuck me while I’m pretending to be asleep. I like the idea that they’re so horny they just want to slip it inside and grunt their frustration out on me, spitting cum inside me without bothering to wake me up first. Something about it ticks the same boxes as the idea of being a fly-on-the-wall for someone else’s wank. That intensely private, pleasure-hunting-at-all-costs urgency that someone leans into when they allow themselves to let go, with a side-order of actual dick in me. Yum.
I like squeezing my cunt muscles while I’m fucking someone. There’s this glorious moment, just on the in-thrust when they’re plunging inside, where if I time it right I can get the muscles to clench just where the head of their dick is. It adds resistance, making them shove it harder. And tightness, so I can better feel how hard their cock is. If they have a particularly prominent head, I can feel the edge of it rubbing past the ridge on one of the internal walls of my vagina. And if they’re expressive (which they should be, oh God I really really want them to be), sometimes I can make them let out a little grunt. Of pleasure? Maybe. Of surprise? Perhaps. I also like to imagine it’s one of effort. They’ve been expecting a certain amount of resistance, but by squeezing my cunt I can ramp it up a little – giving them more to push against and encouraging that gorgeous unngh noise in the back of their throat as they realise they have to fuck harder. If this sounds hot to you (it is, oh God it really super is), here are a few times when it’s fun to squeeze your cunt.