My first long-term relationship lasted 8 years, give or take – we had a fair few yo-yo break-ups towards the end. My most recent long-term relationship managed 9 years in total. But if measured by length of time, the longest sexual relationship I’ve ever had is not with a man, but a sex toy – my favourite ever wand.

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This gorgeous piece of thunderstorm erotica is written and read by Spencer Pritchard. 

The downpour hit hard and fast. So hard, in fact, that just the sound of the heavens opening and the deluge smashing against the concrete slabs outside made us both jump! The day started off with a low, cold, harsh sun, the kind that forces you to squint as a bitter wind pinches at your face. The kind of weather that stops customers from heading to your pub, no matter if the heating was on full and the beer was good…

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As I mentioned last week, I had a whole bunch of amazing pitches in for International Women’s Day, so here on the blog it’s going to be International Women’s… month and a bit, until about mid-April. YAY. Today’s fabulous guest blog hits two of my absolute favourite things, genuinely useful and cool education plus outrageously horny sex ideas. Jenny – who blogs at SymTrkl here and posts on Mastodon here – is a trans woman and sexually creative badass, and she’s here to share with you some top tips on overcoming gender dysphoria in the bedroom. Basically, how to embrace your femininity while fucking as a woman with a penis. Take it away Jenny…

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Continuing the series of erotic fiction set on tube trains (I heart TfL), here’s some aching, surreptitious fucking on the Victoria Line. Note that this story is fiction. Don’t do it in real life. 

The carriage is already rammed by the time we get on – him, me, a few friends. All of us slightly tipsy from the gig, but eager to continue the night back home in Walthamstow. Home, where the booze has been pre-bought from Tesco and we don’t have to queue behind Gen Z amateurs at the bar. The train is packed by the time we get on but we squeeze down to the end of the carriage anyway. When someone gets up to push past us, in deference to his ever-present backache I offer my boyfriend the seat. Then, because my feet are hurting and I’m a little bit pissed, I sit on his lap.

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This incredible account of getting used in a hot tub is written and read by Robyn, of Robyn Eats Everything, and originally appeared on their website. 

It is a truth universally acknowledged that single men at a sex club are always down to fuck around in a hot tub. So yes, I knew exactly what I was doing when I slid my fishnet body stocking off and stepped down into the warm, bubbling water; I wanted to be fucked around with.

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