As is now traditional, when Christmas rolls round I like to use my one superpower (being incredibly horny) to remind you about the amazing companies who help to keep the lights on here at GOTN HQ. Basically what I’m about to do is give a run-down of the awesome folks who support my work here, and tease you with fun suggestions about ways to use their products/services in your own bedroom. If you’re in the market for sexy Christmas gifts – for a loved one or yourself – you should consider stealing one of my excellent horny ideas, and buying from these people who have been instrumental in bringing you the smut I churn out each year. If you aren’t in the market for them right now, then I hope you’ll read on anyway for the hot kicks and kinky tricks.

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This stunning post is written and read by Missy of Focused and Filthy. I haven’t been able to share the photos themselves because I have a feeling that might get me in trouble with regards to the UK’s Online Safety Act. If you are browsing from outside the UK though, you click any of the links to see some of the stunning photographs that Missy talks about in this piece. 

She promised to be my model and I’d previously suggested rope so there I was in some skimpy short pyjamas on a Sunday morning with a hangover thinking ‘how do I tie her up?!’ Luckily I knew her body well enough by this point to enjoy threading the soft black rope around her torso. Lining up the strands and pulling her breasts together as I looped it over her shoulders and around her wrists at the back. She stood smiling at me quietly, waiting for me to position her.

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This week’s fabulously sexy guest blog is an extract from Kirstyn Smith’s novella, The Twelve Lays of Christmas. I absolutely adore the idea behind this playful book – from the blurb:

“Ivy is stuck in a rut. She hasn’t hooked up with anyone since her last terrible relationship ended more than a year ago. That is, until her bff Aoife comes up with a challenge. The Twelve Lays of Christmas: hook up with twelve different people before Christmas Day.”

YES. As someone who is keen to give myself challenges and side quests, I was immediately hooked by the pitch, and then completely enamoured of the extract she sent for me to share with you – it’s sexy, thoughtful, playful and all the things I fucking love about great sex writing. For context, this extract features the eighth person Ivy has hooked up with since the start of the challenge, and we join the story shortly after an encounter with someone who had a fetish for popping balloons. This next guy? Well… he’s into slime. Like, really into it. What I love about this story is not just how fucking joyful it is – reminding any Channel 4 documentary makers out there that you can explore unusual kinks in a non-shaming way – but also the fact that the author, Kirstyn Smith, tells me it’s based on a true story. Enjoy!
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I roll on top of him first thing in the morning. He’s awake, but pretending not to be. As I grip his dick and squeeze gently just below the coronal ridge, it pulses hotter and harder in the palm of my hand. When I start to stroke it, a smile flickers briefly at the corner of his lips. He suppresses it, then feigns a still-sleepy half-stretch to make the angles easier for me to straddle him and hop aboard.

This post is not consensual non-consent. Everything that happens is extremely consensual. However, the fantasy I tell this guy while we’re in bed does have notes of CNC, coercion and fucking-as-punishment. I maintain that it is not a CNC story, rather it is a consensual story about two people who enjoy playing in this fantasy space. It’s a hill my career will probably die upon at some point, but for what it’s worth I think it’s more than possible to present these fantasies in an ethical way, and part of doing that means warning you that you’re about to read something in this vein. 

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I am positively gleeful about this week’s guest blog because… well… I have an affinity with this fabulous anonymous writer. She and her partner are happily childfree, having known for a long time that they definitely don’t want kids. But at the same time, they play in a space that is outrageously sexy – and very much one of my ‘things’ these days too. Here’s a hot introduction to this writer’s breeding kink…

Note that this piece contains honorifics like ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy’ in a role play context – the participants are definitely not related, and everyone featured is well over 18. 

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