When I first read this story – an exquisite fantasy written by Jaimie of Jaimie’s Erotica – my first thought was ‘holy shit, I have seen videos like this and they made my cunt flood too!’. My second thought was ‘why do we not write more erotica with a heavy focus on precum?’. In this fabulous story, Jaimie and her girlfriend experiment with a little kinky DIY so they can live out their dreams of teasing a guy’s dick through a hole they’ve cut in a second-hand kitchen table. It’s exactly as hot as that sounds, with an additional stunning emphasis on how horny it is to get to play, taste and paint each other with eager little droplets of precum. Unngh. Check out Jaimie’s blog at the link above, read her previous guest blog The Chatelaine (a beautifully atmospheric Halloween-themed piece), follow her on Mastodon or BlueSky, and keep an ear out for some of her incredible work appearing on the audio porn project this year too!

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Have you watched Netflix’s How To Build A Sex Room? Episode one is not indicative of the show overall, so if you’ve only watched the first it might be worth sticking with it. When I first settled down to watch it, I was deeply frustrated by its giggly, sex-is-a joke attitude. Not to mention the fact that they didn’t do what they’d promised us in the title they would: show us How To Build A Sex Room. The programme was lacking in all the details a horny amateur DIY enthusiast would need, such as how to determine which fixings to use for mount points (they call them ‘hard points’ which I think is less sexy) and which fabrics give the best attractive-yet-wipe-clean finish. BUT. I stuck with it, because I like watching people talk about kink equipment, and now I’m here to tell you all that How To Build A Sex Room is actually fucking GREAT.

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I love a bit of kinky DIY – sometimes the hot things you want aren’t available in the world. Or at least not available to you – sex toys might be hard to come by or out of your budget or not quite perfect, so you find yourself cloning someone’s dick or building your own spanking bench or milking machine, just for the sheer fun of creating something sexy. When this week’s guest blogger got in touch to tell me he’d been making his own dildos, I was super excited to find out about the process. Be aware, though, that as a general rule I don’t recommend making your own sex toys unless you seriously know what you’re doing: some of the things described in this post are not entirely safe (anal toys need a flared base, and your materials need to be guaranteed non-porous before you insert them), so while I hope you can enjoy the details as much as I did, he and I are both bringing you this fun DIY adventure with a big sign stapled to the side of it that says ‘don’t try this at home.’

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This post came from some improv erotica suggestions over on Patreon. Sometimes we play a game where Patreons give me a name, kink, location and object, and I try to work them into a sexy story – like this gang bang erotica or this one about being pegged by a stranger. I enjoyed writing the following story, because it combines my two favourite activities – kinky DIY and getting brutally fucked. The prompts I had to work into the tale were Josh/bondage/Homebase/drill. 

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My partner has a beautiful dick. Really, truly, astonishingly gorgeous. For quite a long time I’ve nurtured a fantasy about cloning his cock with one of the dick-moulding kits, so I can get DP’d by two identical cocks. Seeing as we’re now rich in time and short on projects, we decided to get stuck in. The results of our cloning efforts are impressively accurate, and have laid the groundwork for some filthier blog posts to come a little further down the line. In the meantime, though, if you want to play along at home, here’s how you can clone your dick too.

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