Guest blog: Why I started making my own dildos

Image via Pixabay. It's just for illustration purposes - don't use this kind of wood to make dildos.

I love a bit of kinky DIY – sometimes the hot things you want aren’t available in the world. Or at least not available to you – sex toys might be hard to come by or out of your budget or not quite perfect, so you find yourself cloning someone’s dick or building your own spanking bench or milking machine, just for the sheer fun of creating something sexy. When this week’s guest blogger got in touch to tell me he’d been making his own dildos, I was super excited to find out about the process. Be aware, though, that as a general rule I don’t recommend making your own sex toys unless you seriously know what you’re doing: some of the things described in this post are not entirely safe (anal toys need a flared base, and your materials need to be guaranteed non-porous before you insert them), so while I hope you can enjoy the details as much as I did, he and I are both bringing you this fun DIY adventure with a big sign stapled to the side of it that says ‘don’t try this at home.’

Why I started making my own dildos

If you think about someone with a penis wanking, what is the first technique that comes to mind? I bet for most of you it’s one hand down the shaft stroking up and down, the other one performing a little bit of ball massage. This was my go-to-technique as well. Being unlucky in love for a long time in my teenage years, no girlfriend in sight, my right hand did a sufficient job. On my 18th birthday my female friends gifted me a “sex package” as a joke – with condoms, a cock sleeve, some lube and a pair of love balls. I never changed and never questioned my cock-centered wanking routine before but I got curious. While showering, I threw more attention to my butthole than needed for cleaning and it was somehow an exciting feeling. How would it feel having these love balls inside?

The next time I showered, I took the balls and the lube with me. I didn’t succeed at first, because the balls were just too big for my virgin arse. But my curiosity and horniness had already beaten my rationality so after a while I forced the first ball inside my sphincter. I shouldn’t have done this, as my ass was not used to such pressure. Forcing it out again, it hurt and burnt for several days, but I didn’t want to give up that easily.

Note from GOTN: as a general rule, love balls are mostly not safe for anal play. Anything you put in your ass needs a flared base – more detail in this post on why. 

The next time I showered, I did a little prepatory work with one and later two fingers and I succeeded getting one ball inside without feeling uncomfortable. After this experience, wanking with only one knuckle of a finger in my ass and some saliva became a regular thing as I enjoyed clenching myself around it.

What else could I use for anal play?

Growing up in a rural area, one does not simply go to a sex shop and buy whatever one wants. The chance of getting “caught” by somebody you know is too great. Also using the internet doesn’t work when you are living with your parents – a package arriving with “printer supplies” is always super suspicious. At this point in my life I was too shy in every aspect of my sexuality. So I wasn’t able to buy my first butt plug until I went to the next bigger city where I was anonymous. After walking past the store several times I sneaked inside and chose a small black butt plug and some lube.

Back home, I was super excited about trying it. The cone shape was much easier to insert than the love balls. Wanking and having an orgasm with a butt plug in opened a whole new dimension of sexual pleasure. The uncontrolled spasmic contractions which – without a butt plug – didn’t have a resistance were amplified so much that my buttplug almost was forced out again if I hadn’t held it. Also the relief after orgasm was a much bigger one.

Two years later I moved to said bigger city, where the possibilities seemed to be endless – considering girls and discovering my sexuality. But I studied Engineering, the clichés were true and I once again had to take things into my own hands.

Using a butt plug while wanking became a normal routine. I had breathtaking orgasms while using non-battery devices, so I wondered what impact a vibrator would have to my prostate. I bought myself a small purple one at a different store, placed it at my office chair and lowered myself down till the tip of it slowly slid into me. It slid in deeper until I sat more or less comfortably on my chair.

Once I’d got used to this sensation, I pushed the ON button and the vibrations hit me like a train. Boy, a whole new world was opened for me as it hit just the right spot of my prostate. Moaning and panting, I didn’t touch my cock at all but I felt the joy of an orgasm slowly rolling over me. Without touching my cock I covered myself in an amount of spunk that I didn’t even know that I was able to produce. It was no fountain but more like a spring that didn’t seem to dry up. There was a steady force behind it, it didn’t burst out nor did it drip, it was just a constant flow enabled by my pulsating Kegel muscles. My orgasmic shudders tried to press the vibrator outwards but this didn’t work because I sat on it. It was an orgasmic plateau and not the short but forceful orgasm that I had experienced before.

DIY anal orgasms

I always want to take the next step. I am a perv and – most importantly – also like to build things on my own. So the next logical step (which sounds weird even for me now) was to craft my own sex toys. I love wood, the smell of it, the feeling, the look, the different types, just every aspect of this wonderful material. It’s such a natural feeling to keep it in the palm of your hand, a material that “lives”. Unfortunately sticking it unprotected up your arse is not recommended as there are splinters that might cause an infection and add a funny new story for people working in ER. I did some research about what to put on and found out that there are special types of varnishes for wooden toys that are safe for saliva and sweat – I thought this might work for other body fluids as well.

I had pieces of oak, a hard wood (maybe pun intended), lying around so my first project was to build a dildo out of one piece. I cut the wood into a square shape with a jigsaw and used a rasp to make it round. All this was done in the workshop at the basement of my parents’ house so I was quite thrilled to not get caught while making it. When I was satisfied with the overall shape of the object I sanded it, gradually increasing the grit until I got to 400 – until it felt absolutely smooth. As mentioned above the last step was to cover it in several layers of varnish. If I remember correctly I applied 3-5 layers and let it dry in between. And finally there it was! A self-made wooden dildo that was quite big and had a larger girth than I’d originally intended. It is slightly bent but doesn’t look in any way like the real thing as it doesn’t have a separate head and the overall cross-section is a rounded square.

Next step was the testing. I put water based lube both on my dildo and my arse. At first it stretched it again with one and later on two fingers. I needed several attempts to be able to get the dildo past my sphincter but after I managed to get it in the sensation was overwhelming. Unlike silicone toys I’ve used it is completely rigid, so you can experience the form of it in every detail. As it is curved, too, I can massage my prostate easily and quite accurately. Getting it completely in and being stretched out by it, I can feel it reaching a resistance, which has to be my inner sphincter.

I also tried to make a stone dildo but this is quite hard as I am not a stonemason and don’t have proper tools. But I had some leftover stone in an almost square shape. I machined it with a double grinder bench, so making the edges smooth with the side of the grinding wheel and forming a rather dick shaped head with the edges of the grinding wheel. The material itself is very dense so the whole thing is quite heavy but also very smooth and not as thick as the wooden one. To be honest I don’t use it that much as is doesn’t have a curved shape and I can’t sit on it because it’s far too long.

My latest project was making a clone of my own cock – identical in form and size. On this project I put more effort into details like the shape of the head, the overall curvature (bended upwards), the frenulum, the vein on top and the shape of the cross section by using several chisels, and I also glued two pieces of wood together to get a proper pair of balls at the base. I wanted it to look like mine just for the curiosity of being able to compare my flaccid cock and the erected wooden version of it because as a grower it always amazes me how this miracle of nature works. To be honest I haven’t used it as a sex toy yet as the girth, especially at the front, is too big and it doesn’t correspond to mine. Eventually I will use it with a future sex partner if she’s into it.

At the moment there are no pervy projects in planning but let’s see what the future might bring. And to second GOTN: Don’t try this at home!


If you enjoyed this and you want to try out some dildos of your own, check out the recommendations on my sex toys page. And big thanks to this guest blogger for sharing his work! 


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