If you are seeing someone on a casual basis, or you’ve agreed that you’re going to date/shag them but haven’t quite done the logistics for meeting up, how often do you message them? Are you checking in regularly to see how they’re doing, or do you consider them ‘in the bank’ and therefore probably not in need of regular contact until it comes time to meet up? What is the difference between being casual about checking in and accidentally ghosting someone?

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One of the things I’m finding hilarious about dating again, eleven years after the last time I was single, is that no matter how compatible or otherwise my date and I might be, there is one fact on which we always agree: OK Cupid is shit now. This isn’t a problem with an obvious, easy solution, I just think that when you realise something truly good is gone, it’s important to allow yourself time and space to mourn. OK Cupid sucks horrible arse these days, and I know I’m late to this revelation but I’m super fucking sad about it, and I wanted to have a little rant.

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For libel reasons, I’m gonna front-load the intro here by pointing out that this week’s guest blogger, Sheebaby, did not have sex with actual Lewis Hamilton. But sometimes you bond with someone over a hobby or shared interest – in this case Formula One – and in Sheebaby’s case that bond led to some seriously hot online sex…

Content note: this post contains brief use of the term ‘daddy’ as an honorific. 

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I’m delighted to welcome this week’s guest blogger, who is here to talk about their wide range of dating experiences. What’s different about dating when you’re perceived as a cis woman vs a gay man? And although no experience is universal, are there any dating experiences that come close to that? Please welcome Mel McGovern, a non-binary dating enthusiast who you can find on Patreon, on Twitter @futurephoria, and on Instagram @futurephoria.

CN: brief mentions of rape

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At some point, I will get back on The Apps. I know I have to. There are geographically convenient men in London just waiting to get shagged, and the only thing standing between them, me and a powerful ten-condom fuck is the fact that I can’t be arsed to take new dating site pictures. Oh! And the fact that my diary is looking pretty full until Christmas. Also that every time I consider meeting a new person I immediately run through all the possible ways it could be terrible/boring/frightening/disappointing until the whole thing starts to feel like admin. Oh God, what if the thing that’s standing in the way of this fun is… me? No, it can’t be that. That would mean it’s my fault. Instead, let’s pretend it’s because none of the dating sites are good enough, and the men I might meet on them are all wrong in interesting and hilarious ways. Join me in completely ignoring the impact my emotional baggage has on my life choices, as I present a few dating site reviews based purely on my prejudices about their brand.

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