It’s fun to have stuff in common. And when it comes to sex, it’s hot to discover that your own kinks match or dovetail with those of the person you’re fucking. But alongside the ones I personally have – D/s, cum, impact play, dirty talk, weed/breath play, loads more – there’s a second category of kinks: those I don’t personally wear on my sleeve, but find wildly attractive on somebody else. Nothing in nature is a binary – it’s not a matter of ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to any given kink. In between there’s a whole gamut of ‘maybes’ and a few shining examples of ‘OhMyGodYesPlease’s too. It’s the latter I’m thinking of today. Kinks I don’t personally masturbate to when I’m alone, but which will probably get me thinking and wanking if I can centre my mind on your desire to do them. I got bored and horny the other day so I made a list of kinks which make my eyes and my cunt grow wide with delight if someone I’m fucking tells me they get off on them. Here’s my take on the sexiest kinks.

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Today’s absolutely incredible guest blog is by Kaetana, and having read it (and re-read it, and re-read it) I am struggling to come up with any way to introduce it better than how she pitched it to me to start with. Kaetana explained that she has a recurring transgressive fantasy about being one of someone’s many lovers. Someone whose purpose was to bring him women to fuck. “Seeking out people tailored specifically to one man’s tastes and predilections, wooing them, maybe trying them out a bit myself (I’m a queer woman) and warming them up before serving them, ribbon-wrapped and dripping, on a silver platter, to do with as he wishes.” The simplicity and intensity of the way she explained this immediately grabbed me, then when I read the piece in full it absolutely took my breath away. If you enjoy reverse gang bangs and sharing partners you will absolutely adore this…

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Writing from the domme perspective is hard. When I’m being submissive, it’s easy to write with a focus on what a dominant guy did to me and how: the words this one growled and the ways he twisted and angled my body so as to best please his own eyes and cock. These hot actions, performed by him, could draw the majority of focus for any given blog post. I know it doesn’t have to be this way – with the dominant as the ‘do-er’ and the submissive as a passive recipient of whatever they choose to do, but it does tend to end up like this quite often. So writing from a subby perspective feels more comfortable to me, because if you focus on someone else when you’re bragging about the sex you had, you can partially hide the fact that you’re bragging in the first place.

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What’s more satisfying – making someone laugh, or making them come? Don’t think too hard, just answer the question with your first instinct. Laugh or come? Which is more satisfying? I asked this question a while ago on Mastodon and the results were extremely close. Within a few percent of each other. I found this really surprising: I’d expected it to go a very specific way, with a dramatic win for one side. I’m not even like those people who tried to nitpick the poll by saying ‘why not both?’ (because the whole point of the question is that it’s an either/or, ya bellends, really obviously we’d all go for both if that were an option). Anyway. I expected the poll to go decisively one way, because to me there’s no contest whatsoever.

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[Ages ago I did a tweet that included a silly joke about wanting to bundle men up in a blanket and give them a hand job and a stern talking-to. Someone messaged me to say there might be some smut in that, so I had a go at writing some. I don’t know how good it is, just that I had fun writing it. It hinges on eroticisation of sexual shame (specifically masturbation shame), so please note I don’t actually think it is shameful to masturbate, obviously: wanking is one of my favourite hobbies. But shame is fun to kink, so that’s what I’m doing here.]

You promised you wouldn’t come while you were away. I was looking forward to all the spunk built up during my seven day absence – that thick, powerful brand of cum that thuds from your dick after a long period of denial and frustration. You promised me you wouldn’t come. And yet the second my flight had landed, I received a text from you letting me know that you failed.

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