Not to brag, but I think I’ve got great wanking game. Of all the things I do in life, masturbation is the thing that consistently brings me the most joy for the lowest cost. I’m not going to argue I’m the world’s most creative wanker, though. A significant amount of my wanking is purely functional: I do it because I’m bored, horny, hungry, in need of comfort. To get me to sleep or to distract me from nicotine cravings. I have picked up a few tips over the years though – mostly from other sex bloggers, friends, and partners who are kind enough to tell me in detail about their masturbation habits. So I thought for this year’s Masturbation Month post I’d share a few fun ideas along with suggestions for toys that might inspire you to spend more quality alone time with your junk.

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This stunning audio porn about watching you touch yourself is written and read by Spen Pritchard.

Run a fingertip over your parted lips, gently bringing blood to the fore, deepening their colour. Wet that finger with the tip of your tongue and snake it down your throat and between your exposed breasts. Inhale as you grab your tits and arch your back.

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This fabulously playful sex talk is written by Jaimie of Jaimie’s Erotica. It’s read by me, Girl on the Net, and I had a fabulous time trying to capture the teasing flirtatiousness in her words! 

Hey.

How are you?

Good, good. Ummm. So, did you get the picture?

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Rule number one in life is you should tell people what you like, because often they’ll give you more of it. I make my love of ‘first time‘ stories known, so when the fabulous sex blogger Missy – from FocusedAndFilthy – had a red-hot post to write about her first visit to a sex club, she knew exactly who (ME ME ME) would go wild for hearing it. Come read her exquisitely horny post about the thrill of being watched as she is spanked, humiliated, and face-fucked in front of a crowd of strangers…

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It feels weird turning up to work when fascism is on the rise. It certainly does for me, anyway. Why am I still posting porn? Who wants to wank when we’re scared about the people we love? Erik’s guest blog pitch couldn’t have come at a better time, when I’ve been wrestling with this question and feeling monstrously silly for continuing to do this horny little job even as I’m shaking with rage at the news. He’s here to talk about the power of horny feelings, and joy, and why we shouldn’t abandon sex in the time of fascism. I’m so very grateful to him for sharing this incredible post.

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