There are plenty of articles and guides that highlight the importance of sexual communication. And it really is important. As I’ve said before, there’s a reason why so many posts on this blog are tagged ‘communication‘ – it’s the special sauce that makes for a really good fuck. It’s not all on you, obviously: shagging is a team sport and I need to communicate too. The more effectively we communicate, the better we’ll fuck. But although we’re often advised to communicate, there isn’t always a great deal of info on how. Just being told to ‘talk!’ is often unhelpful if you’re unused to having those conversations. So here’s a bit of advice if you’re not used to sexual communication, from someone who does a lot of it: when discussing kinks and desires, start by filling in the ‘why’ as well as the ‘what.’

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I like squeezing my cunt muscles while I’m fucking someone. There’s this glorious moment, just on the in-thrust when they’re plunging inside, where if I time it right I can get the muscles to clench just where the head of their dick is. It adds resistance, making them shove it harder. And tightness, so I can better feel how hard their cock is. If they have a particularly prominent head, I can feel the edge of it rubbing past the ridge on one of the internal walls of my vagina. And if they’re expressive (which they should be, oh God I really really want them to be), sometimes I can make them let out a little grunt. Of pleasure? Maybe. Of surprise? Perhaps. I also like to imagine it’s one of effort. They’ve been expecting a certain amount of resistance, but by squeezing my cunt I can ramp it up a little – giving them more to push against and encouraging that gorgeous unngh noise in the back of their throat as they realise they have to fuck harder. If this sounds hot to you (it is, oh God it really super is), here are a few times when it’s fun to squeeze your cunt.

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Fully aware that I am about to launch into ‘why GOTN is wildly irritating’ territory, I ask the third guy in the space of a week: “You say you like me but… what exactly is it that you like?” It’s not that I want him to kiss my arse, I genuinely need to know the answer. Without a real answer to that question, I don’t think I can meet him. Dating during Covid has helped me realise that what I’m after in a date has been refined – or just better defined – since the last time I was single.

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If you’re a regular reader, you’ll have met Sara and Charlotte before – Sara shared an incredible story about getting released from chastity back in 2018, and more recently gave us a run-down of one of the coolest VR sex adventures I have ever read. If you enjoy her work as much as I do, you’ll be delighted to know that Sara has her own blog now. Read her sexy writing here, and follow her on Twitter @SaraCaneWrites, then come back to read this gorgeous real-life story of a video game sex challenge, in which her girlfriend Charlotte has to distract her before she reaches a crucial goal. A challenge, incidentally, that I find pretty fun myself, though I’ve never done it (or written about it) nearly as well as Sara and Charlotte…

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Today’s guest blogger is the excellent Quenby, who can be found at QuenbyCreatives on Twitter or over on their excellent blog Quenby Creatives. I’m especially excited about their post today because it takes a BDSM topic that is usually presented in a very simplistic manner and explores it in a lot more depth: safe words. Do you use safe words? How conscious is that choice? And are they serving the purpose that you need them to? Take it away Quenby…

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