Tag Archives: wanking

How to make me come harder than I ever have before

I saw something the other day that really tickled me: a screenshot of a message from a guy on an app which promised to make a woman come ‘harder than she ever had before.’ That’s quite the promise, especially from a complete stranger. On every level it’s a silly thing to say to someone who you haven’t even met in the flesh: what if you don’t have compatible chemistry when you actually meet up? What if she struggles with anorgasmia? What if she’s never had an orgasm at all? You’re making so many assumptions, not to mention writing a sex cheque so large that you just don’t stand a hope in hell of cashing it, thus guaranteeing yourself the most awkward morning after of your entire life. The guy sending her a message has to believe not only that he’s better than any other lover she might have had (including those with whom she’d had loads of sex, and therefore loads of practice learning each other’s bodies), but also that he’s better than every single wank she’s had as well. As I say, it tickled me. But rather than write a long post about the follies of being One Of These Guys, I thought I’d have a go at illustrating by example why this is such a silly claim, because last night I had an incredibly powerful orgasm myself, and while lying in the afterglow of that formidable release it occurred to me just how many things had to align in order for such a fiercely brilliant climax to occur. Here’s how to make me come harder than I ever have before.

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Dirty dogger: she tries dogging on her own

This red-hot dogging erotica is written and read by Molly, of Molly’s Daily Kiss, and originally appeared on her website. 

“What about you Gina? Fancy a bit of late night dogging?”

Gina felt the heat of embarrassment flush at her cheeks as the lads continued their banter between themselves.

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This is what ‘lust’ means to me

I remember very vividly the first sexy daydream I had about a boy. I felt myself growing hot and tense inside before experiencing a release of arousal as the daydream came to climax. Not a real climax, sadly I’ve never had the ability to make myself come just by thinking about the right thing. But the right thoughts can trigger something intense, and this was the first time I’d experienced that intensity: the instant, shocking realisation that my mind could make my body do this thing, purely through the power of imagination. It was way more graphic than the purely cerebral lust I’d felt for guys in the past. When I talk about this feeling on the blog, I often refer to it as that ‘kick in the gut’ of lust. Or the unngh moment. Some fantasies might press a few buttons in your mind, sparking ideas and feelings that you want to follow up later, but these particular sexy dreams and daydreams are on another level: they kick me in the gut. Give me that unngh.

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Doxy Die Cast: “Easily the best orgasms she’s had in her life”

I’m not saying that if you offer me enough kinky guest blogs, eventually I’ll pull favours to get you a sex toy you really want so that you can go to town on it and write a review but… that’s exactly what happened here. And if anyone deserves the chance to go to town on a limited edition, hot pink Doxy Die Cast then it’s Jenby. One of the most prolific, funny, kinky guest bloggers I’ve had the pleasure of working with. I’m so chuffed that the toy she picked is from one of my favourite sponsor companies: Doxy. Even more delighted that it coincided with them launching a brand new, limited edition Doxy Die Cast. To celebrate ten years (TEN YEARS!) of this kickass sex toy brand, they’re launching an initiative to support breast cancer awareness in the UK, and donating a portion of the profits from every special wand that is sold. These incredibly beautiful Doxy wands are sold in gorgeous, fuckproud hot pink to immediately draw the eye of anyone lucky enough to be invited into your bedroom. Given Jenby’s penchant for bimbofication, it just felt like fate…

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Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen: unrecognisably incredible

When I was young I used to get really pissed off at family events when older relatives would coo “ooh, haven’t you GROWN!”. Yes, Auntie Karen, of COURSE I’ve grown. I was a toddler last time you saw me and now I can read and write and reach the kitchen knives! But now that I’m an adult myself, I understand why grown-ups used to say this. Occasionally someone (or something) will drift out of your life, then return years later in a form so entirely different you simply have to remark upon it. Exclaim: “wow! What the fuck?! How have you changed so much when I am essentially still the same person?!” Let’s talk about the Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen.

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