It’s just over two weeks until Eroticon – the UK event for sex writers that has been the highlight of my year since I first went in 2014. I’m simultaneously excited and nervous, because this year I’m helping to organise it. As part of the conf, to help people get to know each other, each year Molly runs a ‘meet and greet.’ So: if you’re coming, copy the questions from the meet and greet post, and fill in your answers. Then share it, tag @EroticonUK, and meet some of the people who’ll be coming along.
In two things this week we’re going to look at male authors writing women, and Skype sex blackmail. The first will make you laugh, and the second should make you very angry indeed.
It’s been five years since I started this blog. Which is fucking bizarre when I sit down and think about it. Five entire years of my life – that’s nearly 16% of my time on this planet – has been spent sex blogging. For nearly three of those years being ‘Girl on the Net’ has been my full-time job.
So this post might be a bit meta and involved for some of you, but for others who are either sex blogging already or thinking of setting out, I wanted to give you as honest an overview as I can of what 5 years’ of sex blogging looks like. The numbers, the lessons learned, the mistakes and the occasional successes. Here goes.
I write confessional sex stories. Which is a weird thing to say because I’m not really confessing sins or expecting absolution. I’m just telling stories and expecting readers – if they’re kind enough – to click or share or stump up some cash for my books.
Confession is a pretty horrible word – drowning in centuries of expectation. It conjures images of the religious urge to ‘cleanse’ people of their misdeeds via exposure. Telling your stories so that others can judge you: shout ‘shame!’ as you’re paraded through the town. When you call it ‘confessional’, it’s a wonder anyone chooses to write stories about themselves.
But we do.
We all kick different hornets’ nests. Whatever you write, whether it’s vegan recipes, erotica, news or even lighthearted comedy, at some point or another you’ll have to deal with a gang of angry people who really want you to stop. You’re too X, not enough Y, you’ve pissed off someone’s idol or what have you. Mentioned something controversial. Unless you want to be either bland or silent, you’ll write things that stir up emotions. You offer your opinion. Make an argument. Tell a story.
And in doing so, you’ll probably kick a hornets’ nest.