It’s quite hard to pinpoint when I knew I wanted to be a sex blogger: I’ve definitely always wanted to write, but I don’t think I’d worked out my niche until recently. Even when I started this blog I was unconvinced that it would turn into a proper vocation – I saw it as a hobby that might somehow be practice for what I’d end up actually doing… until the day it turned into what I actually do. But maybe it actually started before that, as evidenced by this email that my best friend found from ten years’ ago, after a particularly awesome fuck…
Sex blogger origin: someone else’s pregnancy and sex with a girl
Recently my best mate and I were digging through some of his old emails – I can’t remember why. Often when we get pissed we have a tendency to wallow in nostalgia. Anyway. We found this email, from 2006, and I realised that although it was written during a time in my life where I had no clue at all about what I wanted to ‘be’ or ‘do’ when I grew up, there was clearly a hint that I might enjoy being a sex blogger…
OK dudes, there are two main issues to discuss in this mail, so I shall start with the most pressing.
1 – Kate is pregnant. Sorry I didn’t mail back with my dumbstruck awe earlier on (i.e. when you actually sent me the mail). I did, in fact, have a long discussion with Adam about it in which we decided we were surprised, then decided that we weren’t surprised at all and it was bound to happen sooner or later. From what you’ve told me it sounds like she’s in a pretty stable relationship with her boy, and from this I can deduce that he must be a pretty nice guy, so good on them. More people should have babies, because I am too lazy and irresponsible to have them but I want to cuddle other people’s. Oh, and kittens too – everyone should have kittens.
2 – I had sex with a really awesome girl. Oh yeah. I can’t seem to find the button on my computer to type a really massive smiley face (they should get on and invent that pretty damn soon) but if it were here I would use it.
Her name is Ella and she is very, very, very hot – shorter than me, blonde hair, curvy, very pretty eyes. She’s friends with Dan who lives in [Town], and we have hung out with her a few times before. She is a lovely English girl who occasionally gets us weed. Anyway, on Saturday we went out with her and some other friends to karaoke, and we snogged in the toilets of the karaoke place. She told me she really fancied me, and I told her that I fancied her too (particularly since a party a couple of weeks ago where we got caned and giggly together). So yeah, we snogged then everyone (about 6 of us) went back to her and Dan’s flat for a smoke. She made us some cheese toasties and we got caned. At 4 in the morning she made up a bed for me and A in her room and she went to sleep in the lounge. I went out to get some water, and we kissed, then she took my clothes off and we had sex. It was awesome. :D
So yeah. Basically the reason I’m telling you is that I can’t tell anyone over here and I’m just desperate to tell someone! Yay! Very very happy about the whole thing, and she mailed me yesterday to say thanks and it was awesome and we should do it again. Oh, and Adam doesn’t mind. Quite the opposite – he thinks it’s awesome and hot, and hopes that we will continue to have sex so that he can think about it and get a boner. Woo hoo!
Sorry that this mail reads like crappy erotic fiction.
I don’t often share stuff that isn’t specifically written for this blog – although I did once put up an extract from my teenage diaries which was surprisingly popular. Mainly because now almost everything I write has a purpose. I’m writing to arouse, inform, or entertain (not necessarily in that order).
But three things struck me about reading that email again. First, the bizarre habit I used to have of triple-spacing after a fullstop – why, me, why? It’s even more annoying than my bouncy-smug tone. Second, and definitely more important is the fact that although I never knew that I’d grow up to be a horny slag who writes filth online, I’ve always enjoyed telling sexy stories. In some cases as much as I enjoyed actually having the sex. Re-reading the emails from this period that I sent to my best mate, I’m struck by just how much I enjoyed writing these stories down. Far more than I’d have enjoyed just telling them to a listening audience. The very act of writing made me sit with the memories, the physical sensations, and the whole atmosphere of the experience, letting me wallow in the afterglow of the night before and hug myself gleefully with pleasure.
I know that for some people the thrill of a shared secret, or a closed door, is part of the appeal. But I think for me it’s important for actions to have a story attached too – something I can share after the event, reliving the experience through retelling it, and ensuring that even if it’s a one-night-stand or a one-off kink that will never be tried again, I can enjoy the memory as much as the experience.
Sex blogging as a vocation
The third thing I realised when reading this sex blogging origin email was that if I had my time again, I’d probably have started my sex blog at this moment: I’d be interested to know if others have similar stories. Were there any massive hints in your lives when you were younger that pointed you towards the work you’re doing now?
I always wanted to have a vocation, as opposed to just a job. Something that fired me up with excitement on a Monday morning rather than plunging me into a pit of despair. At the same time I was panicking about the fact that the clock was ticking and I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to ‘be’, I was sending emails to my best friend after a particularly exciting fuck, and getting pleasure out of simply reliving something hot as I typed.
So I guess I also wanted to share this with you because even if you don’t really know what you like doing yet, sometimes your gut knows before your brain does.
If you’d like to read how this story came out when I wrote it down for this blog, it’s here: on number 9. You’ve met Kate here before too, as well as my best friend. Names have obviously been changed from real life, but you’ll know these folks a little if you’ve read my books.