What’s that?

It’s a present.

For who?

For your dick.

Today I want to talk about the Tenga Flip Hole Zero EV – far too long a name for a really awesome thing. But this isn’t really a post about the Tenga Flip Zero EV: it is a love letter to dick toys. An explanation of why I love them even though I don’t have a dick myself. And above all it’s a detailed account of why it is so hot to watch my boyfriend spunk into a tube of squishy plastic.

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The last couple of times I had sex, I cried afterwards. I know, this blog post sounds like it’s going to be a little bit horrible: it is. Sorry about that. Sometimes life is full of hot fucking and joyful blow jobs, and sometimes… well, sometimes it is stress and panic and crying after sex.

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I’ve been doing a lot of archive trawling recently, to try and select the best sexy blog posts to turn into audio porn. On my travels, I have been reminded of some of the truly amazing guest blogs that people have submitted here over the years. So I thought it would be a nice opportunity to point you to some of my favourite archive content: sexy thoughts, cool ideas and funny anecdotes from the wonderful guest bloggers who’ve dropped by to tell their own stories. Please read, enjoy, and share your favourites.

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The last few weeks have been a barrage of news about sexual assault and harassment. Guys in powerful positions in a number of industries are getting called out for doing things that are wholly inappropriate, to people they hold power over. Is anybody else completely exhausted? I know I am. Not exhausted by the call-outs, but exhausted by the response.

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