A while ago, the lovely folks over at Doxy commissioned me to write a couple of erotic stories for their site. Recently, because they are lovely and kind and they want you all to have the BEST wanks, they gave me the go-ahead to upload it in full here – as text and audio porn. It’s all about a woman who goes hunting for a guy to help her realise her dream: having a threesome with a fucking machine.

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American comedian Samantha Bee is in ridiculously hot water this week, after calling Ivanka Trump a ‘feckless cunt’ on her TV show. People – by which I mean mostly American right-wingers – are up in arms because calling the daughter of the US President a ‘cunt’ is apparently one of the most heinous things you can do. So let’s talk about the word ‘cunt’, shall we?

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Join me on a journey of self-discovery and intensely powerful shagging as I take part in a challenge that scared the shit out of me: making eye contact for the entire duration of a fuck.

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I shave my legs every couple of weeks. My armpits more frequently – maybe once or twice each week. I pluck my eyebrows when I spot a stray hair, and get them threaded when I can brave the salon. Then occasionally I cover my neck, chest and stomach in hair removal cream, lie on the bathroom floor like a melting snowman, and wait for the hair to burn off. I have PCOS, and Sisyphus has nothing on me.

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This week’s incredible guest blog is by Morgan, who goes by @KinkyAutistic on Twitter and blogs over at Kinky Autistic too. When they got in touch to pitch me a guest blog about first time needle play I practically leapt out of my chair with enthusiasm: needle play is something I’ve seen done on other people but never had a go at myself, but something about it really appeals to me. And Morgan’s story manages to get right to the heart of some things that are deeply sexy about it.

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