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On the 12 sexist (and not-so-sexist) Christmas gift lists

Humbugs abound as I do my annual Christmas shop. Not because I don’t revel in the idea of finding exciting and unique gifts to shower upon my loved ones, but because everywhere I turn I’m confronted with ridiculous lists of ‘gift ideas for him’ or, indeed, ‘her.’ In honour of this horror, here are my 12 sexist (and not so sexist) Christmas gift lists.

On the first day of Christmas my true love/friend/mum/colleague who drew my name in the office secret Santa gave to me…

1. A Ryan Gosling tea-towel

That’s right, number one on the Prezzybox list of ‘stocking fillers for women‘ is a Ryan Gosling tea towel. Because if there’s one thing women love more than spending quality time in the kitchen, it’s drying pots and pans with a celebrity’s face. Bonus points for trying to persuade us to spend almost an entire tenner on a ‘stocking filler’.

Nothing says 'Merry Christmas' like a Ryan Gosling tea towel.

Note that those who might not have been tempted by the Ryan Gosling tea towel might instead like chocolate pills. So what’s the equivalent for men?

2. Tabasco-flavoured chocolate

Luckily the man in your life can have chocolate in his stocking too, but none of this ‘chocolate pills’ nonsense.  This sweet treat for your man is Tabasco-flavoured. According to prezzybox, to women chocolate is some sort of emergency medication, but to men it is a delivery mechanism for SPICY HEAT.

deck the halls with tabasco chocolate, but only if you are a dude

3. A gendered gift experience

For those with more money to spend, why not treat your loved one to a special day? They can go paintballing, if they are blue, or for afternoon tea, if they are pink. Boots actually gets bonus points in the ‘trying not to be too sexist’ stakes, because when you click on either of these panels they take you to the same page. If they get rid of the pink ‘for her’ and blue ‘for him’ landing pages next year, Father Christmas might take them off his ‘naughty’ list.

what if i would like to take afternoon tea while firing paintballs at my friends, hmm?

4. A mug that kills women who touch it

There’s nothing more traditional than a mug with a crap slogan, and iwoot (the website formerly known as I Want One Of Those Dot Com) has come through with a few. Their gifts for him offers the ‘man mug‘. It comes complete with spirit level, to check how horizontal your masculinity is. It also has a sign on the bottom which makes it absolutely clear the mug is Not For Girl -, I can only assume that if a lady drinks from it, she is instantly poisoned:

because if there's one thing men and women do differently, it's consume hot beverages

Still, ladies mustn’t worry, because if they’re lucky then they’ll get a mug in their stocking too. For women iwoot suggests this ‘Little Miss Giggles’ mug (spirit level definitely not included):

warning: giggling during the consumption of hot tea can lead to injury

5. Virgin experiences

If you’re after a special day out, Virgin’s one-upped Boots and does indeed have special, separate pages for women and men. Phew. No more wading through spa days when you want to buy a dude a day out: it’s cars and paintball almost all the way.  I say ‘almost’ because… what’s this?

these snacks do look fucking tasty, though

That’s right – a special afternoon tea. Not one of those boring ladies’ ones with sandwiches, no. This one has been (as the copy explains) ‘designed to satisfy a man’s taste and appetite’. Which it turns out means switching sandwiches for mini toad-in-the-hole. Oh, and illustrating the ‘tea’ with a picture that contains ‘beer’. Although, according to the copy, there will only be a choice of tea or coffee, there is beer in the picture because that is what men like. See below.

7. Beer, glorious beer

How much do men like beer? A lot, according to

beer goggles: so side-splittingly funny that someone has actually made some

Of course these beer-related items only appear first because the list is alphabetical, and if you scroll down further you’ll see that men also like Darth Vader and eating out of dog bowls.

So that’s Christmas sorted for your dad/brother/husband etc. But what should you get your daughter? Totallyfunky suggests bath products, gloves, and a shoe that you put a spoon in. Or you could go for…

7. Anything to do with One Direction

If the lady you’re buying for is a bit too young for the Ryan Gosling tea towel, The Works has you covered. With One Direction. EVERYWHERE.

one direction in every direction forever and ever and oh god my eyes

Of course, boys don’t like One Direction, so instead they get dinosaurs and helicopters.

8. Not-so-sexy underwear

One of my personal bugbears is that when it comes to Christmas underwear, straight guys are encouraged to buy something sexy, slinky, and sensuous for their partners, whereas straight women are offered a selection of comedy Christmas socks or hilarious cock-cosies with which to wow him. This red-hot image brought to you by TopMan…

i think you should see a doctor about those cock antlers, darling

9. A world I don’t want to live in

Onwards, now, to presentfinder, where boyfriends are ‘difficult’ and girlfriends are ‘gorgeous’. It’s tricky to compare these gifts because they’re all so twee and quirky, but essentially we’re being asked to believe in a world where men like booze, money and edible tits which come in a tiny metal box:

The blurb for the 'succulent fruity boobs' invites you to "lighten up the atmosphere in the office by handing round a tin of traditional boiled sweets in the shape of boobs!" I'd advise against this.

While girls like pink VW camper vans, and being given plasters for Christmas.

if anyone gets me plasters for Christmas i am going to give them a paper cut


Is there a better way to write Christmas gift lists?

If we say to shops “hey, this Christmas gift list is a bit sexist, isn’t it?” their response will most likely be “but it has to be – this is the stuff you’re searching for, and the stuff you end up eventually buying. If we were to stop being twats about it we’d never sell anything.” Which is partly true. We do search for ‘Christmas gifts for her’ and ‘Christmas gifts for him’ (although it looks like we’re doing it less each year).

But that’s not to say they can’t grab our attention in other ways. It’s more than possible to market effectively without descending into lazy stereotypes. Even at Christmas.

To round off the twelve, here are a few examples of shops that, I think, are doing it better.

Not-so-sexist Christmas gift lists

10. Lovehoney’s underwear hot-off

As mentioned above, I dread the ‘Christmas underwear’ thing. Mainly because it seems the idea is for a woman to receive something sexy and lacy and beautiful, and a man to get a comedy santa-hat for his bellend.

So credit, then, to Lovehoney. As a sex toy retailer, it’d be pretty hard for them to not split their toys by sex, given that so many of them depend on the sex organs that you have. So their ‘gifts for her‘ and ‘gifts for him‘ pages make sense. But on top of that, they also have the same feel: these gifts are genuine gifts for people. It’s not split by comedy vs sex: there are genuinely sexy pants for the guys, and toys that individuals will actually play with (rather than giggle at) on both sides of the sex divide.

UPDATE September 2017: Well this is very embarrassing. It’s actually not necessary to split sex toys by gender – it’s far more helpful to split by category in this instance too. Not only because there’s no need to list out e.g. ‘butt plugs for men’ (spoiler: butt plugs can be used by anyone who has a butt) but it also excludes trans and non-binary people.

i haven't yet seen a shop selling a 'sexy' Christmas candy cane with which to sexily hit your partner. They're missing a trick.

11. Argos

To show it’s possible to sell children’s toys without painting half your website pink and shouting “YOU WANT TO BE A PRINCESS, DON’T YOU, PRINCESS?!” here’s a picture of the Argos ‘toys’ menu:

back in my day we all just wanted scalectrix

Do you see? Toys divided by category, brand, age and popularity. If you can find any hint of gender segregation there I’ll give you a mince pie.

12. Marks and Spencer

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve had a peruse of the M&S ‘Christmas’ page, and I can’t find anything that is unnecessarily gendered.

It appears that the nation’s favourite place to buy socks and knickers has resisted compiling lists of ‘gifts for him’ and ‘gifts for her’. They stick to ‘men’ and ‘women’ for clothes, which is understandable given that’s how they split it in the shops, but there don’t seem to be any lists of gifts ‘for him’ or ‘for her’. The only page I can find where they categorise gifts is by personality. “Gifts for foodies”, “Gifts for gardeners” and suchlike.

For that they get a gold star to stick on top of their Christmas tree.

i just can't believe there isn't a category for 'people you know at work but not quite well enough to get them something thoughtful'

The examples above are, of course, the product of my own frequently-flawed opinions and half-arsed research via Google. But I’d welcome any more examples (especially ones of shops who do it well) in the comments or via Twitter. Please tag them with #RyanGoslingTeaTowel, because Christmas should be FUN. 

How to not be sexist at Christmas

Every good Christmas story has a moral, and this one’s no different. Just as it’s possible to sell toys without labeling them ‘for boys’ and ‘for girls’, it’s more than possible to flog your Christmas deals without assuming that men want beer and women want bubble bath. Not only will you get my admiration if you split your Christmas deals by personality, you’re also (prepare for a shock) making it genuinely easier for me to find the perfect present. After all, we’re not painfully simple creatures: we usually know more about the person we’re buying for than simply what gender they identify as.

I know that Sarah likes cooking, Bob likes cosy sleepwear, and yes, Ashley is a big fan of both Ryan Gosling and drying dishes. It’s a damn sight easier to find these presents if you narrow it down by something useful.


  • PigeonWizard says:

    Boys don’t like One Direction tho.

  • Siobhán says:

    Families are impossible, so I’m going to talk about friends…
    In my opinion, it’s hard to go wrong with beer. Obviously most of the men I know like it, though a few prefer cocktails, but my girlfriend loves a pint of IPA, so I know she’d not say no to a gift-set of super-rare, hard to get beers in the style, and another of my best friends loves Belgian Ales. Basically, I could by beer for about 90% of my friends if it came down to it.
    But I think… I hope… I have more imagination than that.
    Books are always good. Movies sometimes… it’s always a plan to sneakily peruse someone’s movie collection first though for ideas – and also to check if they always have the latest releases… if they do, you’re likely to be buying them a duplicate.
    Clothes are awkward unless you’re intimate… sizes (especially for women) are hard enough even when you know what you should be… as well as changing fashion tastes.
    Now chocolate. I have a major issue with only letting the boys have spicy choccies. If a man gave me a tea towel and got chilli choccies himself, then I’d beat him with it until he handed over the spicy hotness. Chocolate is for everyone, chilli chocolate is for me, and me alone… or else.
    On a more serious note. And I often encourage friends to do this if they have a website or a blog. Make a Wishlist. Put things on it that are over priced sure, but also things that you’d get if you could justify the price. That nice new coffee grinder, that fleece you saw in the shop, those New Rocks, or that blowtorch you always wanted… Then make it public, or at least to friends. If someone wants to get you a gift… then there’s a list of ideas. People have been doing it for weddings for years…
    And in closing, this was a great article, as always, and remember… chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate… unless your friend is allergic, in which case you’re stuffed.
    Happy $feast_of_choice

    • Girl on the net says:

      You make some good points, and if I get any chilli chocolate I’ll send it your way – I can’t handle spice at all =) But yes, I think it’s always a fairly safe bet to give someone something they like to eat or drink. One of my family members used to make us all truffles for Christmas. When he stopped doing it, and started buying stuff instead, I think people were quite disappointed – he made *amazing* truffles.

  • Fiddy says:

    Is my wife the only woman in the world who wants Halo stuff for Christmas? O_o

  • Dm7 says:

    When I first saw the obscured image of the barbell weights in the “manmug” photo, I thought it was a steel butt plug. I don’t know if that’s just me.

  • I.L. says:

    Good Post but why the hell are you writing about stupid sexist Christmas gift lists when your country is about to ban SIMULATED rape porn and “abuse” porn which will pretty mcuh make all visual BDSM porn illegal and punishable by 3 years in jail.

    The details of the laws have yet to be written but it seems to me that they very well might arrest you for watching your favorite porn video. You might even be in trouble for selling your book.

    As if that wasn’t bad enough it seem that Mr. Cameron is going about this law in what will likely be a sexist fashion. This is evidenced by him saying: “These images normalise [sic] sexual violence against WOMEN – and they are quite simply poisonous to the young people who see them.” (from above-linked Metro article, caps added by me.) It seems that Cameron either thinks that only women are submissive and only men are dominant in these kinds of porn, that porn in which men are “harmed” does not “normalize” violence against them, or that the normalization of violence against men doesn’t matter.

    We need to spread the word to as many UK perverts as we can as they will soon be in danger.

    It isn’t often that I feel glad to be American but this is one of those days.

    • Girl on the net says:

      I know, and I’m pissed off about it too. But I haven’t yet been able to do a decent rant on it. Many of my fellow bloggers are crusading atm, though.

  • Sibirian says:

    Thanks! Now I actually want to get my boyfriend some sexy underwear that isn’t animal related. Or looks like it’s neither comfortable or should see the light of day. Funnily enough he would hate the man mug: does that make him a girl? Does that make me even less heterosexual? Look at all kinds of existential questions raised here :D

  • Smithe806 says:

    Rattling nice pattern and good subject matter, hardly anything else we need D. bbcddckcdd

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