Author Archives: Euphemise This

Raine (aka EuphemiseThis) is a bisexual polyamorous cis woman; a fabulous femme kinkster with switch tendencies, who loves lingerie and people who deserve her. A sex columnist for an online women’s magazine in a previous life, she has rediscovered her love of creative writing (and sex!) in her 40s. You can find more of her writing - erotic fiction and reflective essays on the filthier things in life - over on her blog, and she can also be found on Twitter.

Don’t be late: a playful punishment spanking

This fabulously hot punishment spanking is written and read by EuphemiseThis, and originally appeared on her website. 

The company’s annual conference was extremely useful but completely exhausting, so I was desperate for a nap and some alone time before the final night’s big social. Micha and I worked on different teams in different cites and so only saw each other at these events. We first properly chatted at the post-conference party five years ago and, after a few drinks, discovered that we had a lot in common despite our obvious differences.


How will she use me? – Femdom erotica

This fabulous femdom erotica is written by Euphemise This, and originally appeared on her website. It is read here as audio by Matt Johnson. 

“£250” The message flashed up on his phone and he obediently went to his banking app to transfer the money to her, no questions asked. Whenever she had plans for him it would often involve purchasing some equipment to prepare, and one of his duties as her sub was to ensure his Mistress had everything she needed in order to be able to use him.


A warm welcome – a fuckbuddy blowjob

This gorgeous fuckbuddy blowjob story is written and read by EuphemiseThis, and it originally appeared on her website. 

Everyone needs that kind of friend. You know the one. A person who you can completely relax around, who you never need to impress or show off to, and who appreciates that humans are complex imperfect beings. Ideally, a friend who also finds you incredibly hot. This is the friend who you can watch cheesy tv shows with, share snacks and talk about bullshit, but then gleefully and hungrily jump each other’s bones. The sort of person who is enthusiastic whether the suggested activity involves takeaway, Netflix, or sex toys.


Oral assessment – he teaches her some BJ tricks

This erotic fiction in which a guy enlists a stunt cock to help him teach another friend some BJ tricks is written and read by Euphemise This

Danya was excited to be back at uni for her final year, even though she knew that there probably wouldn’t be as much time for extra-curricular activities if she wanted to get a first. After unpacking, she headed to the kitchen to make herself a coffee but couldn’t face her housemates’ poor taste in instant so messaged Nate to see if he fancied meeting at Starbucks for a pumpkin spiced latte and a summer’s worth of gossip.


Guest post: How I got invited to my first threesome

The fabulous @EuphemiseThis has been kind enough to share lots of sexy adventures here on the blog. From getting spanked by a couple in their hotel room to her tryst with a burlesque goddess, velvet fetishes and forbidden fucks. I am honoured that she’s up for sharing this gorgeous story too – about getting invited to her first threesome. Frankly, after uploading this, I am envious. And also massively horny.