Category Archives: Filthy ones

Thoroughly fucked: what is the most fucked you can be?

Got pretty thoroughly fucked the other day. And I choose the word ‘thoroughly’ carefully and with precision. This was a very thorough fuck.


Sex machine adventures: DVP with a fuckmachine

One plus one does not always equal two. Sure, if we’re talking standard stuff like apples and oranges, one plus one definitely equals two and I’d be a weird conspiracy theorist if I tried to persuade you otherwise. You have one apple in a bag, you add another, you have two apples. True. But if the things you’re counting are dicks, and the place you’re putting them is my vagina: one dick plus another equals a hell of a lot more than two. Let’s talk DVP with a fuckmachine.


Whip me, fuck me, distract me

When he asked me what I wanted, as my reward for winning the game, I think he expected me to demand pleasure. Orgasms, delivered by hand and vibrator, or his wet lips wrapped round my nipples. Maybe a good, hard fuck bent over the sofa. Instead I asked him for pain. “Whip me,” I told him.

Note, this post makes references to That Fucking Virus and These Weird Times.


Porn with no plot: getting turned on when there’s no story

“What was the plot of that porn, then?” He asks me, twenty seconds after we’ve both come. We’re sitting side-by-side on the sofa, him covered in spunk and me casually discarding the dildo and Zumio I used to get there myself. On the TV the porn scene we were watching still plays: porn with no plot, just a couple of people having a vigorous and sexy shag. He reaches for the controller to switch it off as I try to put into words what ‘the plot of that porn’ really was.


What it feels like to get pumped full of cum

There’s this moment, just before he comes, that feels like a gear change. There’s a sudden urgency and intensity to his thrusts. The angle changes slightly, the pace increases, and I know we’re mere seconds away from the delicious moment when he comes deep in my cunt. As someone who is a big fan of this, I assumed everyone knew that having someone jizz inside you isn’t just pleasurable from a psychological standpoint: you can feel it too. But recently someone asked me if I could genuinely feel the spunk gushing out, so I figured I’d have a go at describing it. Here’s what it feels like to get pumped full of cum…