Category Archives: Ranty ones
The sweat of his labour: a deeply unrealistic Christmas fantasy
As snow falls on the ground outside, she reaches out to him in the darkness and whispers: “Talk to me. Tell me something sexy.” He shifts a little to draw her closer, pressing his warm skin against her own. Bringing his lips close to her face, he ponders the things most likely to turn her on.
“I’ve finished writing all the Christmas cards,” he says. “All you need to do is sign them.”
Sex robots and dick blankets: the future is hotter than the past
“This is perhaps the closest I’ve got to one of my own ideas: that of a sex duvet made from soft and strokeable fabric that vocally rumbles as it is touched and that curls around me as I sink into it. My sex robot will be changeable at a whim: perhaps one day a bed made of breasts; another day, a series of vibrating and moving penises that talk dirty to me. Maybe sometimes both. Because that’s the joy of adaptable, personalisable sex robots that aren’t human, that aren’t gendered – they can just be what feels good at a particular time.” – Kate Devlin, Turned On: Science, Sex and Robots
Love Without Limits: could your relationship survive Louis Theroux?
Picture the scene: you’re lying in bed on a Sunday morning, having a coffee and a croissant with your beau or beaus. The doorbell rings, and in walks Louis Theroux. “Can I get you anything?” he asks, as you grin to cover the weird atmosphere and desperately wish you’d had the opportunity to brush your hair or put some fresh knickers on. “Tea? More coffee?” Slightly-too-long pause. “And tell me…” he continues, in his lovably awkward way “Tell me – are you happy?”
How do I get invited to a gang bang?
Over the course of the last week three – THREE – men have asked me how they go about getting invited to a gang bang. Two of them have been quite specific about exactly the kind of gang bang they want. I get asked questions like this quite frequently, so I’m going to answer this one now: here’s how to get invited to a gang bang.
What are women worth?
A famous thought experiment proposed by a dude called Roger Fisher: that the President of the United States should be accompanied 24/7 by a volunteer who carries the nuclear launch codes with him, implanted in his chest. Should the President wish to launch nukes, killing tens of millions of people, he would have to first kill this one man with his own hands. Take a knife and cut the codes out of the volunteer’s chest. “The President says, “George, I’m sorry but tens of millions must die.” He has to look at someone and realize what death is—what an innocent death is. Blood on the White House carpet. It’s reality brought home.”