New Year’s Resolution idea: Pitch your sex writing

Image by the fantastic Stuart F Taylor

Instead of resolving NOT to do something, how about making it your New Year’s resolution to do something cool? Inevitably, as a massive pervert, I reckon one of the coolest things you can do is hunt through your memory banks and come up with an idea for a guest blog – whether it’s a sexy one or something that’ll make people think, I would absolutely love to host your sex writing here in 2020. So for inspiration, here are a few of the most popular guest blogs from 2019…

Check out the following amazing posts and if you have a sexy something of your own to share, check out the guest blog page and do get in touch! I pay £20 for each post, and you can choose whether to publish anonymously, pseudonymously or with your name/website link if you’d like an extra boost in traffic/followers. I’m currently looking for pitches to run on the site from the start of March 2020.

Bent over the kitchen table – by @pervy_thoughts

As I slid the belt from the loops, my SO dropped her PJ bottoms and bent over the table, pushing her bare bottom out and wiggling.

Fuck thy neighbour – by Grace, also available as audio porn

He pushed deep inside my cunt with his rigid tongue. In and out, in and out, loosening me up, making me remember how good a willing mouth can feel.

Caught having sex in the office – by @Absolutely_Ruby, also available as audio porn

He takes hold of my hips and controls my strokes as I move up and down on top of him. He tells me to rub my clit and I do so gladly and eagerly, leaning back onto him slightly as I enjoy both his cock and my own fingers.

I am a piss-covered slut – by @Absolutely_Ruby, also available as audio porn

I squirm for a few more minutes by his side but he doesn’t pay me any attention: he continues as though he’s the only person in the room and I think about how desperately I want to taste his cock. I imagine if I piss where he wants me to I might earn a reward and also know that it’s either piss outside or call an end to our game for now, which I don’t want to do.

Fuck me to tears – by Franki Cookney, also available as audio porn

He strokes the back of my head and I turn and look up at him sheepishly.

“Are you crying?” he asks me.

“Yeah,” I smile through my post-shag stupor. “You’ve fucked me to tears.”

You may notice a theme with the posts above – many of them are available as audio too, which gives me a nice excuse to point you to the audio porn page and tell you that creating/publishing/promoting more amazing audio porn has been one of my personal highlights of 2019. Keep an eye out for lots more of it in 2020!

What makes sex writing popular?

If you wrote for me this year and you don’t see your own guest blog on this page, please don’t worry – there are so many different factors that impact whether something gets into the top 5 including (but not limited to!) whether I have done well enough on SEO when I’m editing, how much competition there is for those keywords/topics, the time of year it’s posted, the time of day it’s promoted and plenty more besides. The posts which are sexier tend to get more traffic, so it’s incredibly difficult to get into the top 5 with a post that is more political or discursive. Please, whatever you do, do not let that fact put you off pitching more political/discursive posts!

There is immense and incredible value in each piece of sex writing – by telling your own unique stories you can air your thoughts, highlight important issues, get things off your chest, make people laugh and help others feel less alone. Although I can often predict which stories will get the most traffic based on their topics and titles, I can never predict which posts will touch someone, or make them feel good, or help them feel more confident about their own body/sexuality/life. These posts are important too.

If you have a sex story to tell that is designed to educate, inform, or entertain rather than directly arouse, I would love to hear your pitch on that as well. It can be anything from challenging an assumption people have about sex, sharing an unusual trick or sex game, or a journey you’ve been on to learn more about your own sexual desires. Here are a few examples of posts like that…

Wanking brought me closer to my husband – by Danielle H

I remember being in school and a friend telling me that her mum and stepdad had had the biggest row ever and it might be over between them, and do you know why? It was because she’d caught him watching porn and masturbating. Even at the time I remember thinking ‘So?’

Tit wanks helped me to love my big boobs – Katy from @SexpotsPod

Were my nipples too small? Could people tell that the right one was much bigger than the left? Was, as I’d been told, any more than a handful a waste?

But when I’ve met guys who love nothing more than a giant pair of jugs, then they’ve really hit the jackpot with me.

Weird wank: I control his dick – by anon

Whenever he’s feeling horny, whenever he wants something different or whenever I find something that I think he will react to, I send him an email with the heading of “Weird Wank”. That’s what he calls them, the emails telling him to get off to something that I have picked from him. And he does it, without question.

How self-imposed chastity improved my life – by Thomas

When you spend more time thinking about how you can make your next wank a bit more interesting than finishing your work, catching up on that TV show everyone has been raving about or writing that novel you’ve been on about for three years, it’s probably time for a change.

Other sex writing shoutouts

I also wanted to highlight some work from the fantastic Jenby, who has written a trilogy (a thrillogy?) of fantastic guest posts this year, each focusing on a different aspect of kinky play: impact play, erotic hypnosis, and vacuum play.

And naturally I couldn’t do a round-up of this year’s awesome sex writing without a big shout out to the incredible Wankonomicon – in which intrepid wanker Luke (aka @Beardynoise on Twitter) attempts to catalogue all the different kinds of wank known to humanity, and offer you advice on the best sex toys for each and every one. What a fucking hero. Keep an eye out for the next one…

Last but by no means least, the fantastic guest audio from a selection of amazing writers and readers which has been occupying all my waking thoughts through December. It’s been brilliant working with Ella Scandal, Leo DiLuca, Molly Moore, Sherryl Blu and Tabitha Rayne to bring you more sex stories read aloud, and I’m hoping to expand this further in the new year.


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