Category Archives: Sex blog advice

On the awkwardness of ‘girl’ on the net

This blog has been running for ten years now. Ten years! Christ. There are kids who were born when I started writing who already know how to swear! When I began, I was in my twenties and it didn’t feel that weird to keep calling myself ‘girl.’ But fuck it, that girl had no idea that this might turn into her job, and certainly no idea she’d be doing it long after the word ‘girl’ started to sound a little optimistic. Over the last few years, understandably, the comments I’ve had about my choice to remain ‘girl’ on the net (as opposed to, say, ‘woman’) have become more numerous, so fuck it I’m going to have a crack at explaining myself. Here’s why I’m going to be ‘girl’ on the net until the day I finally hang up my blogging cap for good.

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Letter to the guys who send me private essays but never share any of my work

Hey there! Thanks so much for getting in touch off the back of one of my tweets. It’s flattering that you want to tell me your opinions/feelings/experiences when it comes to sex. I’m not gonna shame you for what you’re confessing, but please note: this isn’t actually a confessional.

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I asked sex bloggers to share a post that defines them

People slag off Twitter a lot these days – rightly so, because a network that used to be fun has become almost unusably cesspitty these days. But despite its popularity with arseholes, there are still some fabulous people on there, and plenty of joy to be squeezed from finding others who are into the same things you are. For me: sex writers. Recently I put out a tweet asking sex bloggers to share a post that they felt summed up who they were as a blogger. Which of their posts is the most ‘them’ thing they’ve written? Which post would give your readers an instant, concentrated hit of what they can expect from your blog? The answers ranged from funny, cute poems through intensely hot stories and fascinating insights to powerful, emotional pieces that grabbed me right by the heart. I thought I’d share some of their answers, and hopefully introduce you to a few new bloggers whose work you’ll love.

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It’s hard to write a blog when there’s a plague on

Obvious point: it’s hard to write a blog when there’s a plague on. Especially a personal blog which relies on telling stories. At the moment the world is mostly flooded with two types of story: the boring and the horrible. There are rare, lovely, sexy moments of joy, and I try to capture those when my brain is functioning, splatter them onto the page and hit ‘publish’ quickly before I have too long to second guess whether they’re good enough. But I’m mostly here for honesty so I’m just going to say it plainly: it’s hard to write a blog when there’s a plague on.

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Reasons it is very cool and fun to date me

Just putting it out there: it is very cool and fun to date me. I promise. No, it’s not a total nightmare of reading posts about yourself and wondering whether you’ll get a good write-up, or listening to me bang on about butt plug brands until you’re entirely turned off butt plugs forever. It’s really cool and fun, and I am not in any way a total shambles.

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