Girl on the Net

How do you feel? Part one of this piece talked about emotions, and the value of exploring them in detail. You’re probably best off reading that before coming back to this, because it was originally written as one piece, but here’s a brief summary: articulating your emotions is a skill – one to which we don’t always give enough time or attention. It’s often seen as something you either can do or you can’t. What’s more, some of us are given permission to do it where others are aggressively prevented from trying. This is heavily gendered, of course: men are told not only that they’re innately ‘bad’ at articulating emotions, but also that they shouldn’t be as emotional as women are. Cannot and must not. They’re allowed to show big scary feelings like anger, but punished for showing any that hint at vulnerability, and often discouraged from spending time with their feelings at all. I find this wildly unfair and, if I think on it too long, outright heartbreaking. Spending time with your feelings can help you know yourself better, and articulating your emotional needs is a very valuable skill when it comes to building relationships. Learning how to do it is a gift to yourself, as well as to those who love you.

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The second I walk in the door, he’s all over me. Soft lips and firm hands. Rummaging under my clothes and kissing me passionately, before I’ve even had the chance to take off my boots or unclip the panniers from my bike. It’s hurried, urgent, eager. Exactly as I’d seen it in my idle daydreams. I’ve been thinking on this for the last two days, ever since the possibility of it was first floated. A tentative ‘if you’re in the mood for sexy ideas…’ followed by a fantasy of such powerful dominance and laser-targeted kink accuracy it had me squirming in wet knickers at my desk. You bet I’m in the mood. How are you fixed for Sunday? 

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How do you feel about being used as a platter, on which everyone’s dinner is served? That’s the premise behind nyotaimori – a kink that, in Japanese, literally means ‘serve food from a woman’s body’. Hot, obviously. Even hotter, the excitable kinkster who is here to write about it is Jenby Doll, whose work you will I hope be familiar with from such epic adventures as this romantic needle/staple play scene, this incredible bimbofication play, and even actual induced lactation. I am always excited when she appears with a new guest blog pitch, and her first nyotaimori scene sounds not only delicious but outrageously horny. So! Please welcome Jenby, onegaishimasu.

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How do you feel right now, emotionally? If you came up with something like ‘sad’ or ‘happy’ or ‘angry’, can you drill down a little deeper into that emotion? Is it possible to identify what’s causing it, or is it a vague sense that you can’t explain? Are there other feelings swirling around to keep that first one company? Or even ones that seem to exist in conflict with it? It’s possible, after all, to feel both angry and content – one an immediate flash of something bad, set against a backdrop of a life that’s otherwise giving you all the things you need. How good are you at identifying your emotions? In how much detail could you answer the question: how do you feel right now?

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CN: transphobia.

Late on Friday night the Equalities and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) released an ‘interim update’, offering advice to businesses and public bodies in which it tells them that “trans women (biological men) should not be permitted to use the women’s facilities and trans men (biological women) should not be permitted to use the men’s facilities”. The update also notes that “in some circumstances the law also allows trans women (biological men) not to be permitted to use the men’s facilities, and trans men (biological woman) not to be permitted to use the women’s facilities”. This is in response to the UK Supreme Court judgment last week which defined ‘woman’ as someone who is ‘biologically female’. A judgment the court told us “does not remove protection from trans people” is immediately being used as the justification to try and remove important protections from trans people. I think the judgment is profoundly wrong and deeply harmful.

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