You and your friends should timeshare a fucking machine

A good friend won’t raise eyebrows if they turn up at your house and there’s a fuckmachine assembled in your office. A great friend will offer to babysit your fucking machine while you’re looking for somewhere to live. The latest Kink of the Week topic is fucking machines, so I expect a lot of people will be dreaming of having a vigorous robotic fuckpony of their very own. Here’s my pitch as to why, if you can’t afford one yourself, you should consider buying one on a timeshare with your pervy mates.

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I asked sex bloggers to share a post that defines them

People slag off Twitter a lot these days – rightly so, because a network that used to be fun has become almost unusably cesspitty these days. But despite its popularity with arseholes, there are still some fabulous people on there, and plenty of joy to be squeezed from finding others who are into the same things you are. For me: sex writers. Recently I put out a tweet asking sex bloggers to share a post that they felt summed up who they were as a blogger. Which of their posts is the most ‘them’ thing they’ve written? Which post would give your readers an instant, concentrated hit of what they can expect from your blog? The answers ranged from funny, cute poems through intensely hot stories and fascinating insights to powerful, emotional pieces that grabbed me right by the heart. I thought I’d share some of their answers, and hopefully introduce you to a few new bloggers whose work you’ll love.

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Guest blog: Thunderfuck – fucking in a thunderstorm

How appropriate that this guest blog is due to go live this week, when the UK has been having a sweltering heatwave. I’m editing this on Tuesday but praying that by the time it goes live on Friday we’ll have had a huge thunderstorm or two to clear the muggy air. Something about the weather makes me horny – from sweaty fucking to fantasies about getting whipped on the back of my thighs with ice pops, heat is horny. And now, courtesy of this week’s guest blogger Theodore Bentley, fucking in a thunderstorm becomes sexy too…

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Sex without love and love without sex

This week’s Quote Quest is a quote from Hunter S Thompson, and I’m choosing to join in with it because I have never heard the quote before, and when I saw it I immediately hated it with a passion as hot as the sun. Here’s the quote: “Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.” I know the fabulous Little Switch Bitch, who runs the Quote Quest meme, picks quotes to spark interesting debate and discussion, so I’m gonna crack my knuckles and get stuck in.

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Cock worship – hallowed be thy dick

It’s hard to conceptualise cock worship as a kink in and of itself, because I already love your cock. The idea of specifically setting down to ‘worship’ it feels as odd to me as collective prayer might feel to a person whose spirituality resonates in everything they do. Worship your cock? What, specifically and deliberately? I already live in a state of low-level cock worship even when it isn’t in my mouth.

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  • About Girl on the Net

    Girl on the Net is a London-based sex blogger – she writes explicit sex stories, so please consider this whole site NSFW. Alongside real-life sex stories, expect posts about feminism, porn, mental health, and fascinating fetishes. Now one of the biggest sex blogs in the UK, Girl on the Net began sex blogging in September 2011, so feel free to dig through the archive and find out just how ignorant and/or clumsy she was when she first began. If you're an aspiring sex blogger, check out these tips on how to start a sex blog.