Guest blog: Bimbofication – being dumb makes me cum

Confession: I had absolutely no idea what bimbofication was until @JenetalTorture pitched me a guest blog on it. I now know it’s a kink all about being turned into a bimbo – ordered to act up to a pastiche of a stereotype of a particular kind of femininity. And frankly, I totally get it. If I’m honest, my favourite way to learn about a brand new kink is to read something Jen has written about it. See also erotic hypnosis and pony play for examples, then scroll down to read today’s intensely sexy tale of bimbofication…

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Cum in my eyes: I miss getting facials

I miss getting cum in my eyes. I miss the delicious final moments of fucks spent with men who want to choose where they’ll splatter their load. I miss those split-second ‘inside or outside’ decisions during which they’re thinking about all the different places to jizz – face, tits, arse, cunt, hair, feet… I miss looking up at a guy’s face, twisted with pleasure and effort as he beats his cock for the final few strokes, before letting go and splashing cum all over my upturned face. Yeah, I miss facials.

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Mismatched kinks and nine year itches

How do you navigate a relationship in which you have mismatched kinks? Someone on Patreon suggested this as a blog topic recently, and not only do my partner and I not match perfectly kink-wise, I also really love fulfilling requests. I toyed with the idea of churning out some advice about relationship negotiation or communicating your needs, because when people email me with questions like this that’s exactly what I do – send them links to past blog posts about introducing kink or instruct them to go buy this excellent book which is a great jumping-off point to explore your own desires. But as I was structuring that blog post in my head, a conversation happened which made me realise I could give a far more personal answer.

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Guest blog: Non-binary erotica – Tears

I love erotic fiction that makes me feel things alongside ‘horny’ and today’s guest blog, by Anita Cassidy (@anitacassidy76 on Twitter) does exactly that. It’s a beautiful tale of a first-time encounter between an older woman and a non-binary person, in which they share more than sex – connection, intimacy, and love for each others’ bodies. It’s utterly beautiful and you’re in for a treat.

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Three reasons you should buy a Zumio

I’ve written about the Zumio before, and it’s rare that I cover a sex toy more than once (unless it’s a sex machine or is made by Doxy or is something I’ve lovingly customised like the Fleshlight Launch… oh OK I guess I do cover lots of sex toys more than once) but this is one of the best sex toys I have ever owned, and it just came down in price – from $140 to $98, and I have three stories about the lengths I will go to if I am deprived of Zumio action which I’ve been itching to publish for a while. It’s a fun, fuckable, now slightly-more-affordable sex toy, and I am powerfully in lust with it, so let’s get stuck in: three reasons why you should buy a Zumio.

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  • About Girl on the Net

    Girl on the Net is a London-based sex blogger – she writes explicit sex stories, so please consider this whole site NSFW. Alongside real-life sex stories, expect posts about feminism, porn, mental health, and fascinating fetishes. Now one of the biggest sex blogs in the UK, Girl on the Net began sex blogging in September 2011, so feel free to dig through the archive and find out just how ignorant and/or clumsy she was when she first began. If you're an aspiring sex blogger, check out these tips on how to start a sex blog.