It took twelve journeys in the end. I only got fined on three of them, but still – three hundred quid is a pretty hefty blow. Worth it though, to find the guy. The one train guard who’d let me off a fare in exchange for a grope of my tits and a sloppy face-fuck.

This one’s erotic fiction, obviously. I wrote it while I was on a train, which is why that train line gets a mention, but I assure you the guard was incredibly polite and I slammed my laptop shut at light-speed when he came to check my (valid) ticket. Note that this story might contain elements of coercion, if it weren’t for the carefully-written thousand-word intro that I stuck on the front of it to make it a bit more consensual. Feel free to ignore it if you like the non-con/dub-con stuff, or revel in it if you like your stories more consensual and your heroines more gleefully slutty. 

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I set out to find a date within twelve hours, using only my phone. Could I summon a man to come hang out with me on the same day I set up my profile, then get him to bang me sideways in the twin room of a Travelodge? If so, this would make for the most efficient dating experience of my entire life to date. How successful was I? Come find out!

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This gorgeous piece on waking him with a blow job is written and read by Molly Moore. Note that this piece involves sleep sex – an activity you should never do without the express prior consent and enthusiasm of your partner. 

When I wrote this piece, Michael and I were still in a long distance relationship. He was in the USA and I was here. Later that month he would get his VISA and move here and 18 months of mainly being apart would finally come to an end. We used to sleep together on Skype but because of the time difference he would get to watch me sleep during his evening and I would do the same during my morning. I wrote this whilst watching him sleep.

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Normally I struggle when it comes to Valentine’s Day content, but this year I have a whole bunch of pent-up dating energy that I’m not really putting anywhere so roll up your sleeves because I reckon I’ve got a banger. Here are 12 cute and sexy date ideas for Valentine’s Day, complete with links to places you can buy stuff if you’re in the mood to get presents for your partners and want to support this site by buying from the people who help keep it alive.

Some of these links are sponsored, which means if you click through and/or buy you’re helping to support this website, and that is the BEST Valentine’s Day gift you could give me. THANKS!

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