“Dear GOTN, despite the fact that you’re a grumpy arse for most of the year, I’d like to invite you to my birthday party…

Ooh! A party! How fun!

“It will be held on Saturday at 8pm…”

Yay! I’m free on Saturday! I can go!

“At this address…

I’ll find it on Gmaps. Oooh, I’m so excited!

“The fancy dress theme will be…”

Shit it, I’m not going.
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You know how you’ll go through phases in terms of what you fantasise about? Well, maybe not everyone does, but I do. One week I might be obsessed with the idea of locking eyes with a stranger on the tube, staying on the train with him until our carriage is empty at the end of the line, until – with a quick jerk of his head and a filthy smile – he invites me to sit down on his cock and ride him to the final stop. Other weeks I might need more guys to make the fantasy complete – three or four willing gentlemen who pop round my house to gangbang me on the sofa – that kind of thing.

Right now, though, I am obsessed with historical fucking. Snatched moments between princes and parlour-maids, gentlewomen and stable hands – frilly skirts being hoiked up to the waist and corsets yanked down to expose jiggling tits as someone’s fucked against the wall.
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Mmm… secret sexiness. You know the type – when you and someone else share a filthy secret in public. One of you is wearing no pants, or you’ve been given a sexy challenge, or – as is the case with this guest blog – you’re wearing a sex toy in public, and you have to keep a straight face.

This week’s guest blog is by @Absolutely_Ruby, who started her own sex blog in 2014, and it’s well worth checking out because it’s smoking hot. I cannot think of a better way to start 2015’s guest blogs than with her story of butt plugs, sexual tension, and a really frustrating breakfast…

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This post talks about anaesthetic sex – detailing a super-hot fuck I had while I was a bit ‘out of it’ and asked a guy to take advantage of that. It was fully consensual and negotiated between both of us before I took the anaesthetic, but if the idea of intoxicated sex makes you uncomfortable, please don’t read on. 

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If you’ve been following the criticism of the oppressive changes to UK porn regulations, you’ll probably have seen one or two (or thousands of) people spitting outrage over the definitions of ‘moderate’ pain and consent. While consent in porn is absolutely vital, the censors have made a pretty huge mistake in how they categorise it – believing that consent is something which should be determined by an objective third party, rather than the people who are playing.

It’s for this reason that they’ve said porn with a bound and gagged subject will be censored – apparently there’s no clear means of withdrawing consent.

Please welcome Jenny, who is here to demonstrate just how utterly ridiculous that assumption is.

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