On Sundays, we do anal. It’s not a hard-and-fast rule, although naturally we’re hoping that with enough ‘getting fucked in the ass’ practice for me, ‘hard and fast’ will eventually be the general tone of each occasion. But before we get to that point, we need patience, time, and preparation. A lot of preparation.
Yeah, this post is literally just going to be 500 words of appreciation for your dick between my butt cheeks. Someone found my blog recently via this search term and I was horrified – HORRIFIED – that I have not yet described, in detail, the glory of this sensation.
This blog post was written in response to the question: are there any sex things that you don’t like? Here’s where my mind went first.
I am probably similar to a lot of British people who grew up in the late nineties, in that I first encountered rimming on Queer as Folk (the UK version, which is categorically better than the US version because of Stuart Alan Jones). In the first ever episode, Nathan (played by Charlie Hunnam when he was young and pre-beardy) gets naked and thoroughly fucked by the stunning Aidan Gillen. Amid the sweat and the panting and the deafening thud of my aching, hormonal cunt, I heard Stuart (Aidan Gillen) ask Nathan what he was into. Nathan pauses so Stuart prompts:
There’s a pause, as we realise that the young ‘un has absolutely no idea what that is. Still, he’s as horny as a teenager with a hot guy sweating all over him, so obviously he says yes. And the sight of Stuart’s tongue sliding wetly up and down Nathan’s back, eventually coming to rest in the crack of his buttocks is something I still occasionally kill kittens over.
But of course, alongside all my other thoughts – are there nerve endings there? Is it really pleasurable? If I asked him really nicely, would an Aidan Gillen lookalike ever do the same to me? – was the most important rimming-related question: what does it actually taste like?
I’m sure I’m not the only person who goes through sexual phases. One week I’ll be all about mutual masturbation – vigorously rubbing a guy’s cock while I push my tits into his face, and twitching as he matches my speed and pressure stroke-for-stroke on my own clit. At other times nothing will satisfy me except a doggy-style fuck – arse in the air, back arched, and face pressed down onto the mattress as he pounds me with a quick, rapid force.
But my current phase has been with me for over a month and shows no immediate signs of abating any time soon.
Right now I like being grabbed, in a very specific place.
Put your big arms around me
I’ve always liked big hands. In fact, sod it – any guy’s hands. They’re beautiful, and strong, and the unique feeling of being touched by someone else can barely be bettered.
When I’m wanking, I can’t come unless I use one hand to grab at my tits – pinch my nipples and squeeze and grab myself, as I play out whatever scene is in my head and imagine the guy squashing the girl nice and tight. But it’s not quite as good with my own hands – they’re not big enough, they’re not strong enough and, most importantly, they’re not different enough.
What I like right now, what I want right now, is a man’s hands. Gripping me solidly about the waist, sliding down to grab at a handful of backside and – here’s the crucial part – right down the crack of my arse, squeezed into tight jeans. I want to feel his middle two fingers pressing strongly into the seam.
I want him to grab my arse, not cup it, in a traditional ‘getting away with a bit of touching at the school disco’ way. I don’t want both hands on me, holding one arse cheek each like they need sharing around. I want one big strong hand grabbing right in the middle, spreading his fingers out to reach as much as he can, and tipping me slightly backwards as he runs his hand down between my thighs.
Occasional drooling slip-ups
The problem with having a particular desire for this type of thing, though, is that it’s an activity far too easy to do in public. I need only cling to the boy while one of his hands is busy holding a coffee or a cigarette and press myself up against him, and his left hand will automatically snake down my back and along the seam of my jeans. He holds me tight like that, burrowing his fingers just a bit deeper between my legs, and pulls me up on tiptoe so he can reach further down.
Although he wouldn’t wank me off on a crowded tube (no matter how nicely I ask) or fuck me doggy-style in Tesco, the boy is more than willing to do the arse grab whenever I cosy up next to him. It’s good for me, because I get what I want, but it’s not an ideal situation for the rest of society.
This is my way of saying that if you’ve spotted a couple recently in a London beer garden looking a bit too close for polite company, with a guy burying his hand in the back of a girl’s jeans while she drools sleepily on his shoulder, I probably owe you an apology.