As a huge fan of the power of words, I am fully in love with this week’s guest blog which is about a super-hot sexting relationship which happened almost exclusively via the medium of sexy messages. In the right moment, the three dots indicating someone’s writing can have a distinctly Pavlovian horn response, and this week’s writer – Gavriel Hollander – has captured the joy of it beautifully. Read, enjoy and embrace the awesome things we can do purely with the power of language…

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So many of you will know that delicious, aching joy of wanting to shag someone but having nowhere to do it. Surreptitious touches in pubs and parks which just wind you up even more when you realise there’s nowhere to hide while you vent your frustrations on each other. This week’s guest blog, by Fajolan (who has written before about similarly delicious handsy-horny frustration), is all about that kind of horniness, with the bonus of an innovative way to ‘go get a room’ when there are no rooms to go to.

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There are plenty of articles and guides that highlight the importance of sexual communication. And it really is important. As I’ve said before, there’s a reason why so many posts on this blog are tagged ‘communication‘ – it’s the special sauce that makes for a really good fuck. It’s not all on you, obviously: shagging is a team sport and I need to communicate too. The more effectively we communicate, the better we’ll fuck. But although we’re often advised to communicate, there isn’t always a great deal of info on how. Just being told to ‘talk!’ is often unhelpful if you’re unused to having those conversations. So here’s a bit of advice if you’re not used to sexual communication, from someone who does a lot of it: when discussing kinks and desires, start by filling in the ‘why’ as well as the ‘what.’

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So this guy and I broke up, and I’m sad that we won’t get to play the bracelet game any more. Does that make me an arsehole? That upon breaking up with a good, kind man the thought which burns brightest in my mind isn’t guilt or soppiness but horny nostalgia? I don’t know. But as he said to me at the end, with characteristic grace: at least we were honest with each other. We were. I honestly wanted to shag him and get drunk and play Magic: the Gathering, he honestly wanted something more. I am, honestly, a bit of an arsehole right now.

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The UK Government has announced its roadmap out of lockdown, and although the government has been as bad at acknowledging sex as it has been good at handing expensive contracts to its incompetent mates, I’m here to help with a brief guide to what the lockdown roadmap means for slags.

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