I probably don’t even need to write an intro for this one. The awesome Focused and Filthy (@FocusedFilthy) – she of the astonishingly hot blog, gorgeous photographs, and deliciously creative fucking, is here to tell you about the ‘hat trick’. And by ‘hat trick’ she means getting cum in each hole. As I say, needs no introduction. As long as I’ve SEO’d it properly, this is going to be the one of the most popular guest blogs of 2022, possibly of all time (and I’ve been doing this for eleven years). Missy’s exceptionally filthy and joyous descriptions of getting cum in her mouth, cunt and ass live up so beautifully to the promise of the title, I have no doubt that this post will launch ten thousand wanks. Have at it.

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This gorgeous dormophilia erotica is written and read by JM Seaborn, with brief audio additions by Girl on the Net. Note that this story contains a hot, consensual fantasy about sleep sex (dormophilia). You should not practice this kind of sex without doing the important groundwork – discussing consent (as well as methods to withdraw it) with your partner.

“I want you to fuck me while I’m asleep.” That’s what she had said. The phrase floated in front of my eyes as I looked at her. She lay still, her skin accented by the new light. Her breathing was slow and deep, telling me that that she was, without a doubt, unconscious.

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Sorry to be a pain, gang. I am writing yet another fucking blow job story. Do you like blow jobs? God, I hope so. I think I’m becoming something of a one-trick pony. If that pony’s trick is sucking cock. Join me my friends, my loves, my ever-patient pals, as I regale you with a tale of yet another fucking blow job.

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You know those meditation apps which show a circle increasing and decreasing in size, which encourage you to breathe in and out in time with the animation? Sometimes I like to fuck like that.

CN: drug use, minor references to panic attacks. But broadly this is a super-hot one, I promise. 

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‘No’ is a complete sentence, sure. But if you get partway to shagging someone, saying ‘no’ can be genuinely difficult, especially if you want to give them an explanation for why you’ve changed your mind. I’m going to tell you about one of the most awkward ‘no’s I’ve ever said. It’s not the most awkward ‘no’, just one of them. It starts on the south bank of the Thames, around autumn 2020.

It’s hard for me to judge the tone of this piece, and editing it proved tricky. But just so you know up front: this story has a happy ending.

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