A thing that has never happened: group of guys stand around me in a circle. I, blindfolded and semi-naked (the better to get my underwear smeared and dirty), lie open-mouthed on the floor beneath them. One of them starts to squirt jizz. It splatters from a height onto my stomach. Watching it sets the others off, and they each rub their dicks harder, pumping ropes of spunk over my waiting face. The traditional bukkake fantasy, if you like.

A thing that has happened: mid-fuck with a single guy, he pulls out. He stands up quickly, straddling me with his legs. He looks down on me as he beats at his dick, then sprays come on me from a height, so it makes a satisfying pitter-patter as it lands on my neck and chest.

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The reason I haven’t blogged about the campaign to repeal the 8th, and in fact abortion in a general sense, is for one rather boring reason: it feels too obvious. Abortion is a right, because bodily autonomy is a right, and I don’t need to hear the details of an individual woman’s struggle in order to understand that someone’s choices are their own.

But I’m writing today because sometimes it’s worth stating the obvious.

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As a fan of porn, one of the hardest things to explain to someone who hates it is that it doesn’t all look like the stuff you see on PornHub. Frequently, when I’m debating porn, or reading articles by other people about the damage it can do to society, I come across one or both of these assumptions:

Porn is for men/inherently degrading to women.

I think that this belief is largely shaped and influenced by one particular company. What’s more, I think people who hold this belief tend to be unaware just how influential that company is. Let me tell you a bit about MindGeek.

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This post’s going to talk about control, BDSM, intense beatings, and a few things that my partner and I have discussed and negotiated in a lot of detail. It’s erotic fantasy in a role-play context: it is not a guide for life.  

Reward fucking: the act of getting exactly what I want because I’m a really good girl. Punishment fucking: the act of getting what I want by doing something that he – in turn – pretends to think is bad.

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Once I stayed in a hotel so ‘intimate’ that if your lover was lying in bed, you could technically look them in the eye while you had your morning shit. Upon arrival in this hell-hole, I realised there wasn’t a loud enough megaphone in the world to adequately amplify the force of my ‘Fuck no!’, but luckily for me my partner is understanding, and equally reluctant for me to see his dump face. We established a toilet etiquette system, so neither of us would be forced to see things we would never be able to unsee.

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