I walk in on him wanking, that’s how this fantasy starts. I’ve just got out of the shower, hair tousled and body lotioned so it’s nice and smooth with a slight slippery residue that makes everything shine. I open the door to the living room with half-formed notions of asking him to touch my tits to warm me up. Maybe invite him to come to the bedroom with me, roll around naked on the big bed in all that post-shower softness. But he’s already masturbating when I go in: hunched over on the sofa beating at his dick like it’s urgent that he drains out all the spunk.

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The original Doxy was the first sex toy I ever wrote about on this site, and ever since I tried it I’ve been obsessed. I’m not the only one – since it launched it’s become a staple in the drawers of many sex bloggers, readers, and plenty of my friends as well. I’ve mentioned it so many times that even a horny writer like me started struggling to find new ways I could say ‘this is fucking awesome, I love humping it’. Lucky for me, then, that recently Doxy has had a complete overhaul and relaunched some of their toys – redesigned and improved – providing the perfect opportunity for me to fall in love all over again. Let’s talk about the new Doxy Die Cast Max.

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Not to brag, but I think I’ve got great wanking game. Of all the things I do in life, masturbation is the thing that consistently brings me the most joy for the lowest cost. I’m not going to argue I’m the world’s most creative wanker, though. A significant amount of my wanking is purely functional: I do it because I’m bored, horny, hungry, in need of comfort. To get me to sleep or to distract me from nicotine cravings. I have picked up a few tips over the years though – mostly from other sex bloggers, friends, and partners who are kind enough to tell me in detail about their masturbation habits. So I thought for this year’s Masturbation Month post I’d share a few fun ideas along with suggestions for toys that might inspire you to spend more quality alone time with your junk.

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This stunning audio porn about watching you touch yourself is written and read by Spen Pritchard.

Run a fingertip over your parted lips, gently bringing blood to the fore, deepening their colour. Wet that finger with the tip of your tongue and snake it down your throat and between your exposed breasts. Inhale as you grab your tits and arch your back.

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This fabulously playful sex talk is written by Jaimie of Jaimie’s Erotica. It’s read by me, Girl on the Net, and I had a fabulous time trying to capture the teasing flirtatiousness in her words! 

Hey.

How are you?

Good, good. Ummm. So, did you get the picture?

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