Today’s guest blog is something a little different, because I really want to introduce you to the fabulous person behind The Pleasure Garden – an awesome ethical sex toy shop that sponsors my website. If you’d like to buy stuff you can use the code GOTN10 for 10% off anything they stock, but I’m not trying to actively sell you anything here, I just wanted to introduce you to someone cool: Francesca Cross, who runs it. I have written about a number of fantastic Pleasure Garden products over the years, from restraints kits to g-spot vibes, and door cuffs to doppelganger dicks. And whenever I have a catch-up with Francesca to talk about what I could review next, we always end up in a fascinating sidebar about the challenges involved in trying to carve an ethical path through the adult industry: how to improve accessibility, how to make sure the toys in stock are body safe, how to write copy for websites in a way that is inclusive and never shaming. I thought you lot might like to see a glimpse behind the scenes, and meet someone awesome who is working to do exactly that. So I interviewed Francesca! Grab a cup of tea and learn about running an ethical sex toy shop in the UK…

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This deliciously hot erotic story is written and read by Tabitha Rayne. Note: in fantasy we can do things we wouldn’t in real life. Combining driving and sex is one of them. This is a dangerous activity and you should not do it . Obviously do wank about it though because this story is hot as hell.

He thinks we don’t do it enough. And by it, you know I mean sex. Bonking. Shagging. The glue that sets our relationship apart from all the other relationships in our lives. It’s true. We don’t. He might think we don’t, but I know we don’t. You know how it goes, a houseful of kids, pets, oldies, responsibilities, by the time we flop exhausted on to the sofa, barely enough energy to agree on a boxset, we’re fucked. And not in a good way.

So once every two months, I book us a very expensive room in a very expensive hotel. A different one every time. Some are sexier than others, but ALL are sexier than our own shabby messy bedroom, which is certainly not conducive to seduction in any form. How we ended up with all these damn kids is anyone’s guess.

So it’s time.

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Today’s guest blogger is the fabulous Javi Osei, who blogs over at The Love Script and on Substack as Stranger in Lisbon. She’s here to talk about her experience of phone sex work and the impact it had on her. As she told me in her initial pitch: “The money was real, but so was the emotional burden.” I’m so grateful to her for sharing her experiences, and giving an insight into what it was like for her to work on the phone lines.

Note that this piece contains real (anonymised) quotes from client calls, and as such details some fantasies and obsessions that might be disturbing (and racist). 

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It feels weird turning up to work when fascism is on the rise. It certainly does for me, anyway. Why am I still posting porn? Who wants to wank when we’re scared about the people we love? Erik’s guest blog pitch couldn’t have come at a better time, when I’ve been wrestling with this question and feeling monstrously silly for continuing to do this horny little job even as I’m shaking with rage at the news. He’s here to talk about the power of horny feelings, and joy, and why we shouldn’t abandon sex in the time of fascism. I’m so very grateful to him for sharing this incredible post.

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You’re not gonna fucking believe this, but sex tech makes it possible for me to literally fuck you with my words. Using sound activation on a Lovense Osci 3, you can turn any audio story into vibrations which go straight to your sensitive parts. The Lovense Osci is a rabbit-style vibrator but you can also get clit wands, dick vibes and prostate massagers, so all junk is catered for. How cool is that? I’m going to give you an overview of how this works, a few other ideas of how you can use Lovense toys, and then I’m going to do one of the most fun things I’ve done for a sponsor since I ate a chocolate dick. Basically, I’m going to tell you a sexy story about wanking with this toy, with the specific aim of creating tailored audio porn that will build good vibrations and (hopefully) make you come if you sync it to yours. Let’s. Fucking. Go.

If you have a Lovense Osci (or other sound-activated toy) and you just want to skip to the filthy story, click ‘play’ on the audio above. UK-based users will hear a ‘censored’ message, so pop over to Patreon and create a free account to hear it in full. 

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