Please welcome back sex toy correspondent Luke aka @Beardynoise! A man who is on a quest to catalogue all possible types of wank spanning the entire human experience. After the roaring success of volume 1 of his Wankonomicon at the start of the month, he is back to give you more detail on new and different types of wank, as well as recommendations for excellent sex toys to use for each one. Today: the co-op wank, luxury wank and experimental wank… 

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A confession: when you’re out, sometimes I lie on your bed and bury my face in your bedsheets. Huffing the lingering scent of summer sweat like it’s perfumed roses or myrrh or forty-quid wine. I am creepy, so of course I sniff your bedsheets. And that’s not all I do.

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Please welcome back sex toy correspondent Luke aka @Beardynoise! He dropped by in May to give you the run-down on his favourite ever masturbator – the Tenga Flip Hole – and now I’ve asked him back to offer up some more sex toy recommendations, alongside giving a run-down of different ways to masturbate. Today: the business wank, the danger wank, and procrasturbation… 

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I used to be ambivalent about lube. OK, more than that: I used to be actively wary of it. As if using this substance represented a giant failure on my part to get my cunt wet. I used to feel as if lube was for anal, and only anal. But one of the things I’ve enjoyed most about my forays into the sex industry is just how ubiquitous lube is, and how many different uses there are for it. So let me pass on some of my learnings to you: unusual things to do with lube.

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This morning I received a strongly worded letter from the Sex Blogger’s Association, informing me that as I have not yet written any custom content for Masturbation Month, they will soon be removing my Fuckblogger badge and ripping up my membership card. The only way out of this is to write some sauce that explicitly references ‘Masturbation Month.’ So here goes: 10 wank fantasies that you can steal/tweak/edit and enjoy at your leisure.

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