Sometimes something is so fucking sexy it’s tricky to find the words to describe it. But I guess if what I do counts as a ‘job’, that’s what this job is about: finding the words to describe things that are so sexy they transcend language, making me want to curl up into a tiny, horny ball and just rub myself and wail happy things forever. So I’m going to have a go at putting into words the hottest thing that’s ever happened to me: the other day my partner let me watch him wank in the shower. I am now a broken, sated mess.

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It’s that time again – Saturday’s sexy link roundup for you to peruse. Click the headings to see the full posts from the people in question, and see if you can guess which my favourite link is for this week…

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Every year I try to write something about how Valentine’s Day is mostly a bundle of gendered expectation and obligation wrapped in a parcel of guilt. That doesn’t stop it being fun for some people (and nor should it), but hopefully it does help people who feel shit about the whole thing to feel a little less shit and a little more like it doesn’t really matter. But I’m a sex blogger, so if I don’t write anything about Valentine’s Day I’ll get letters. So, as a compromise I’ve written a guide to things you can buy as Valentine’s Day gifts for yourself. Hoard them, enjoy them, publicly propose to them if you want to, just don’t give them to anyone else: there are other gift guides for that.

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A week or so ago I wrote about perspective in sex fantasies, and asked people how they tend to fantasise when they’re masturbating. Do they make themselves the star of their fantasy, or do they tend to ‘watch’ the action as if they’re an outside observer? The answers were fascinating, and one of the ones that particularly struck me was Mrs Fever’s: although some of her fantasies are visual like the ones I was describing, many are based on other senses: scents, as well as tactile and auditory sensations. I asked her to do something that seemed to me impossible – could she describe these fantasies for a guest blog? Turns out that yes, she can, and the post she sent me was so evocative I could almost feel/smell/hear everything she describes. Check out her post below as well as her fabulous sex blog!

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This might sound a little weird to you, but when I conjure up sex fantasies I, personally, am not in them. Usually they feature a guy (or two, or three) that I’ve cast from a set of characters in my head – army sergeant, angry teacher, dominant dude on a conference call and … a woman who does not look like me. I didn’t realise this was unusual, until I had a conversation with someone about it, then ran some polls on Twitter to ask: do you, yourself, star in your sex fantasies?

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