Tag Archives: masturbation

Guest blog: Giving up mainstream porn for lent

I’m delighted to be able to present you with an Easter-themed post today, courtesy of the fantastic Jenny Guérin (who you can follow on Twitter here). Jenny has written here for me before about withdrawing consent in a BDSM scene – and how it’s far easier than the people who write UK porn laws seem to think. Today she’s tackling a challenge I’d love to see more people have a go at: swapping mainstream porn for more ethical porn. How did Jenny do with her personal challenge of giving up mainstream porn for lent?

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What are you thinking? Honest answers to a tricky question

Most of us dread being asked “what are you thinking?” – it’s like a bucket of cold water chucked on you from the sky, interrupting whatever train of thought you were pursuing. Inviting you to pluck the most recent flash of memory or fantasy from your head, and spit it out into the world. Without context, without nuance. It’s just there. Sometimes I am thinking thoughts so bizarre that I wouldn’t want him to hear them unprepared. Other thoughts are so dark that I wouldn’t voice them at all. But I like that he asks. I love that he asks. And for that, he deserves answers.

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Sex tech: you bring the gadgets and I’ll bring the filth

Some people enjoy sex tech because they like nerding out over the technical possibilities. Others are sex toy collectors – equally intrigued by the latest smart vibrator as they are by a beautiful dildo. Some, like me, are keen on sex tech for both the reasons above, but with a side-order of ‘this kicked off a filthy fantasy.’ So, as inspired by the sex tech session at the latest Eroticon, I want to run you through a few sexy fantasies inspired by interesting kit.

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ElectraStim Jack Socket: pleasure, pain and jizz on the carpet

The most important thing to remember about electrosex is that the smaller the surface area, the more intense the sensation. Where you draw the line between pleasure and pain depends on your own threshold. I like warm, broad sensations. The smack of an open palm. The heavy thwack of a thick leather belt. Electricity that tingles over my skin when he places a full hand on the back of my thigh. Other people like intense, pinpoint pain: the sting of the cane, leaving a lattice of thin red welts to show you took it well. With electrosex there’ll be no marks, but the rule applies: the smaller the surface area, the more intense the sensation. Today I want to tell you about the ElectraStim Jack Socket.

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The actual joy of sex: advice I’m giving myself

For the last couple of months, when we kissed, the first thought to flash through my mind was: “this is supposed to be fun.” I told myself over and over, like a mantra, willing it to come true. Sometimes it did, more often it didn’t. The actual joy of sex was lost to me, and I worried I’d lost it forever.

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