Welcome, friends, to my grubby little corner of the internet. A corner so strewn with obscenity that the UK government has decided you must prove you’re a grown-up before you can access certain parts of it. The UK’s new Online Safety Act has come into force, so UK people might have noticed a bunch of websites suddenly demanding you take a selfie, share your credit card details, or jump through another hoop to prove that you’re over 18. Quite a few of my friends have been discussing this in the pub, because for understandable reasons people who aren’t embedded in the world of online pornography or internet law are suddenly curious about why the internet is now so very broken. They’re also often convinced that the government will change its mind and therefore no one really needs to worry. I’ve had this conversation so many times now that I reckon I’ve got the basis for a fairly solid layperson’s guide to age verification: what it is, how it affects you, and why we absolutely, genuinely do need to worry.

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This week’s guest blogger has already brought much joy with this amazing post about the sexiness of armpit hair. Today, he’s back on another topic very close to my heart: the ways that porn can benefit and improve our sex lives. As someone who’s been creating sex content for over a decade, personally I am bored of having the conversation about whether porn is ‘good’ or ‘bad’, ‘harmful’ or ’empowering’. The simple truth is that porn, like all other media, can be both good and bad depending on what’s being produced. And wrapped up in that truth is another very beautiful one: some porn scenes can genuinely change your life for the better. Please welcome today’s guest, who is here to tell you about the porn video that did exactly that for him…

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It shouldn’t need saying, and I hate having to say it, but needs must: what we do is good, actually. By ‘we’ I mean sex bloggers, erotic photographers, independent pornographers, and anyone who falls under the broad umbrella of ‘sexy content creator’. In light of the devastating news that after fourteen years of running the gorgeous, body-positive, empowering Sinful Sunday project, Molly is shutting it down, I wanted to take a second to celebrate what she (and the amazing contributors) do for us. And highlight the fact that in a world which is getting more hostile to independent creators in the sex space, it’s more important than ever to remind everyone that what we do is not immoral. It is not wrong or perverted or sick or worthy of being expunged from the internet. Sex and masturbation is a healthy part of most adult lives, and creating media that inspires and celebrates pleasure is not just acceptable, it is valuable. What we do is good, actually.

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Apologies for the aggressively search-engine-targeted title here, it’s a question many people ask: how do I keep having fun sex in a long-term relationship? Sometimes it’s framed as ‘how do I keep sex alive’ or ‘how can I introduce new kinks to my partner?’. As I’ve written before, I find it upsetting how easily people assume that sex inevitably falls by the wayside when you’ve been with someone for a few years. My response to ‘sex just dies eventually in long-term relationships’ is ‘not in mine!’. Sex is one of my top priorities, and as a result the two long term relationships I’ve had were both satisfyingly fucky right up to the bittersweet, tortured end. So when a reader asked about sexual adventures, I thought I’d have a go at trying to articulate how I (and my partners, if they’re game) go about creating a culture of sexual exploration when we’re together. This isn’t just a guide for people who feel like their sex life has waned over time, but also for those in sexually active relationships who want to know how to introduce new kinks and sparks. Hopefully I can cover all this off in the same post, because I’m clever and great at multitasking. Also because I think the approach is similar no matter which of those situations you find yourself in.

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The most common request I get is for more stories about the free use secretary. I’ve written about her initial interview, this one time the boss fucked her while he was on the phone, a meeting in which she was offered out to clients to sweeten a business deal, and another episode when she got fucked by two junior managers in a stationery cupboard. This story’s back to just her and the boss: a quick and dirty facefuck. It contains spanking, throatfucking, free use, humiliation, degradation, hints of piss play and definite power imbalance. 

Note, as with all these stories, that they’re hyper-exaggerated sexual scenarios that play with my kink for misogyny, my fantasies about being used, and my love of wanking to the grubbiest, least-compelling men you’re ever likely to encounter. Really pathetic, one-track-mind, unable-to-comprehend-women-as-people douchebags. The fact that these men are pricks is very much key to the fantasies. I enjoy playing with this stuff inside my head and on the kinky wank space that is this blog, but these stories are not and should never be seen as a guide on how to treat people in real life. I hope this is obvious, but it can’t hurt to hammer it home. 

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