In my neverending quest to come up with new ways to remind you to BUY THINGS FROM MY SPONSORS PLS, I cannot quite believe I’ve never done this, the most obvious and fun thing of all. Here are some Valentine’s poems, with links to the absolutely brilliant companies that support my website. They’re here mainly as a reminder to you that every click on every link – in posts, on ads, and in tweets as well, helps me to keep doing what I do. If you like the poems, or any of the other content I write, please consider clicking these links and buying whatever sexy stuff your little heart desires – for Valentine’s Day, or any day. Cos roses are red, violets are blue, and I couldn’t do this if it weren’t for you.

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In the middle of yet another tumultuous year, the audio porn project has been a shining joy on my weekly to-do list: gathering lots more fabulous guest audio, as well as recording and editing some of my own stories to make them more accessible, and hanging with the incredible team of people who support me on Patreon and help guide the project. But what were people listening to this year? Hopefully you’re having a chilled day today eating festive snacks and lying in your comfiest lounging clothes, so to entertain you while you have a well-deserved rest, here’s the top audio porn of 2021 (based on listens), plus a couple of new stories that haven’t yet been live for long enough to make the ‘most listened to’ list, but which I know you’ll love.

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It’s a huge gamble, both of us know that, so we’re careful to tiptoe gently around the implications. I haven’t seen this guy in many many years, and he lives far enough away that we can’t just catch up over a drink. A visit? For three nights? It’s a huge gamble. But he asks me at exactly the right point – says ‘shall I come and stay for a bit?’ when I’m feeling brave and horny. So I bury the doubts, keep my expectations low, embrace the knowledge that life is far more fun if you gamble sometimes and tell him ‘fuck it, yes.’

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During this absolute trashfire of a year, many people turned to audio porn to distract them from life in lockdown – there was a distinct uptick in the number of people visiting the audio porn hub around the end of March, when suddenly we all became way more restricted. But what was everyone listening to? Here’s the most popular audio porn in 2020.

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It’s hard to adequately convey how massive a move it is for Pornhub to remove all unverified uploads from its platform. The site – like many ‘free’ tube sites like YouPorn and Xhamster – has relied on unverified user uploads for so long that to suddenly remove them is a massive step. What does it mean? Should you be worried? And are there legitimate criticisms of the way this has happened?

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