Tag Archives: sex blogging

Letter to the guys who send me private essays but never share any of my work

Hey there! Thanks so much for getting in touch off the back of one of my tweets. It’s flattering that you want to tell me your opinions/feelings/experiences when it comes to sex. I’m not gonna shame you for what you’re confessing, but please note: this isn’t actually a confessional.

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I asked sex bloggers to share a post that defines them

People slag off Twitter a lot these days – rightly so, because a network that used to be fun has become almost unusably cesspitty these days. But despite its popularity with arseholes, there are still some fabulous people on there, and plenty of joy to be squeezed from finding others who are into the same things you are. For me: sex writers. Recently I put out a tweet asking sex bloggers to share a post that they felt summed up who they were as a blogger. Which of their posts is the most ‘them’ thing they’ve written? Which post would give your readers an instant, concentrated hit of what they can expect from your blog? The answers ranged from funny, cute poems through intensely hot stories and fascinating insights to powerful, emotional pieces that grabbed me right by the heart. I thought I’d share some of their answers, and hopefully introduce you to a few new bloggers whose work you’ll love.

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Reasons it is very cool and fun to date me

Just putting it out there: it is very cool and fun to date me. I promise. No, it’s not a total nightmare of reading posts about yourself and wondering whether you’ll get a good write-up, or listening to me bang on about butt plug brands until you’re entirely turned off butt plugs forever. It’s really cool and fun, and I am not in any way a total shambles.

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Snapshots and truth: what makes a story

Most of what I write is true. But ‘Truth’ itself is much more slippery. Truth with a capital T can never come from the mouth of a single person, and it never comes in the form of a story, because the act of telling a story involves shaping and curating truth: picking which bits stay in and which bits get cut. What makes a story, when it comes to non-fiction, isn’t Truth but perspective.

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No one ever wants to be the baddie

I’ve had a lot of internet fights in my time. I cut my teeth on an incredibly racist and misogynist forum back in the days before Twitter, then I joined Twitter, then I started to blog. Fight after fight after fight – I’ve kicked off at so many people! People who were causing harm, and others who were trying to tell me that I was causing harm. Sometimes I’ve argued well, sometimes badly. Sometimes I am right, often wrong. Some things I’ve said have been justified, others terrible. You get the idea. At no point during any of these fights did I ever intend to cause harm. But that doesn’t mean no harm was ever caused.

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