Tag Archives: true

Thoroughly fucked: what is the most fucked you can be?
Got pretty thoroughly fucked the other day. And I choose the word ‘thoroughly’ carefully and with precision. This was a very thorough fuck.

Sex machine adventures: DVP with a fuckmachine
One plus one does not always equal two. Sure, if we’re talking standard stuff like apples and oranges, one plus one definitely equals two and I’d be a weird conspiracy theorist if I tried to persuade you otherwise. You have one apple in a bag, you add another, you have two apples. True. But if the things you’re counting are dicks, and the place you’re putting them is my vagina: one dick plus another equals a hell of a lot more than two. Let’s talk DVP with a fuckmachine.

Whip me, fuck me, distract me
When he asked me what I wanted, as my reward for winning the game, I think he expected me to demand pleasure. Orgasms, delivered by hand and vibrator, or his wet lips wrapped round my nipples. Maybe a good, hard fuck bent over the sofa. Instead I asked him for pain. “Whip me,” I told him.
Note, this post makes references to That Fucking Virus and These Weird Times.

Guest blog: What I learned when I cloned my dick
I really love it when I recommend toys to you lot and you have as much fun playing with them as I did. Doubly so if you’re willing to share your thoughts in a guest blog. Recently this fabulous guest blogger DMd me to say ‘OMG I cloned my dick’, off the back of a recent post I wrote about that very process. Unfortunately, in my own post, I couldn’t share an image of the cloned dick with you because it was so accurate and representative of my partner’s exact penis that we thought a picture would be far too intimate. Luckily for me (and you, I hope), today’s guest blogger is willing to share pics of his (scroll down to see ’em!), along with a few thoughts on what it’s like to look – up close – at a perfect replica of your own cock, which you have previously only encountered from arms length…

Porn with no plot: getting turned on when there’s no story
“What was the plot of that porn, then?” He asks me, twenty seconds after we’ve both come. We’re sitting side-by-side on the sofa, him covered in spunk and me casually discarding the dildo and Zumio I used to get there myself. On the TV the porn scene we were watching still plays: porn with no plot, just a couple of people having a vigorous and sexy shag. He reaches for the controller to switch it off as I try to put into words what ‘the plot of that porn’ really was.