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On the ‘describe your orgasm’ competition

Ever wondered what an orgasm feels like for someone other than you? Well, wonder no more! After posting my enthusiastic yet relatively incompetent description of my orgasm on Wednesday, lots of people have had a go at putting one of the most complicated physical sensations into actual real-life words.

If you fancy trying it yourself (and why wouldn’t you? It’s a good excuse for both wanking and wordplay) then either describe your orgasm in the comments below, email it to hellogirlonthenet at gmail, or post it on your own blog and link here. There’ll be a prize for the best one (prize TBC but I’m open to suggestions) and in the meantime you get the glory and joy of creating yet another piece of content for vast swathes of the internet to pleasure themselves to.

What does an orgasm feel like? Entries so far…

I’ll let the lovely Cammies on the Floor begin:

“It starts with pressure inside of me, a pressure of fiction, an awareness of movement in and out of me.

“Then I begin to tighten into the pressure. I can do this at whim, but more often than not, it just happens. When I am short on time, know this is a quickie, or am tired, I can tighten, making me come closer to the sensation faster…” If you’re already dribbling a bit – that’s the idea – please do read the rest over on her blog.

Rebecca’s entry is hot – in both the metaphorical and the literal sense:

“It begins with a warm buzzing around my heart. This spreads to my upper arms and my head and grows, just as the nerves pulse downward towards my groin. Then the burning starts. The burning starts low and wide, around my crotch, then it intensfies and localises in my clitoris, burning more intensely as I hold my breath and stretch out my legs…” Hotness continues in the story over  here.

Not to be outdone by the first Rebecca, another Rebecca joins in:

“First, the anticipation. The delicious knowledge of what is waiting. This is what makes me start to breathe a little heavier and start to writhe, ever-so-slightly. Just the mere expectation of the orgasm raises my heart rate, widens my eyes and causes me graze my teeth across my lips…” After an excellent start, her orgasm builds spectacularly.

Ritchie has taken a more methodical approach, breaking orgasms down by type:

“Generally, there is an extremely pleasant warmth that starts around my balls and (and I’m not too sure how to describe this) the ‘root’ of my cock. By root I mean that a cock isn’t blu-tacked onto that bit of your stomach 6 inches or so below the belly button. It goes further in to your body to the pit of the stomach. The warmth spreads, but not too far, and at the point where I am about to come it kind of becomes all encompassing…” If you’re anything like me, you might want to print his comment and keep it under your pillow.

Commenter George has written a charmingly lyrical description:

“I lose control and forget the world; Arms and hands stiffen; My buttocks clench as a mellow pleasure engulfs me; With each contraction, my eyes screw up as ecstasy travels from groin to brain in heartbeat…” And here’s the comment with its poetic conclusion.

Steve dropped me an email with his entry, and it brightened up my evening no end:

“I can vividly remember my first manually induced orgasm. As with many men, this first furtive spanking of the monkey took place in the bath – once that most innocent of pastimes, but from age 12 onwards the location of much fumbling, stroking and general yanking of teenage pork sword. I knew from whispered playground conversations what the mechanics of “having a wank” were. But I’d never actually tried to put these instructions into practice until this occasion.” I’ve posted the full thing in  a comment and it’s as funny and evocative as it is hot.

Ian’s description of a building pressure almost makes me feel the pressure in my stomach:

“It’s like a slowly building, but perfectly pleasant, pressure. Something inside that makes me more sensitive, that makes every movement filled with a little more joy, and in amongst that an urge for something more: to increase the pressure, to keep increasing it, with each increase feeling better and better, until you reach the point where the only thing that would feel better than holding this delicious pleasure is releasing it. In that moment of release it’s like a whole body and mind exhalation.” Read the rest of his entry.

Bubbleburst hits on the trembling, shaking feeling:

“When he makes me cum my hands shake. That’s what he likes to focus on after the withering and growling. After my world has become very big and suddenly very small. My hands shake, like proper tremors you can feel right through me….” And it is completely amazing.

Last (but by no means least) Anon put her finger directly on what I couldn’t – her description of an orgasm which ‘radiates’ struck a chord with me:

“Bringing myself to an orgasm is something that I can do in seconds. A few quick rubs, and a tiny orgasm builds up and suddenly there’s a release of pressure and tension that I didn’t know existed. It’s almost like when you get a really good massage therapist, one who rids you of knots you didn’t realise were there. Except these balls of tension built up in my lower back, in my thighs. I get tense and suddenly – poof! – a release…” In case you can’t tell from that, it’s well worth reading her description in full.

Describe your orgasm

As I wrote in my original post, I love the idea of trying to describe an orgasm – it’s something so personal and intimate and – frankly – bloody difficult, that by writing it down for someone you’re giving them a window into something incredibly unique. I can taste the cake you’re eating, I can hear your favourite music, but I can never fully put myself in your shoes (or your pants) and feel exactly how you come.

If you fancy having a go, the competition’s still open. I’ll find something nice (yet not massively expensive because I’m skint) to give as a prize, and keep your entries coming in via comments, email or on your own blog.


  • Rosa says:

    When I touch myself, when I get myself really worked up, really wet, I rub my clit. When I feel close to coming, I start to not be able to feel my feet, my lower legs. They go tingly and then completely numb, and my cunt feels as though is it opening and pressure is building up inside me. I start to become really sensitive and twitch beneath my own hand, and I don’t know if I can handle such an intense sensation. It feels as though I am about to die, or come alive, or explode. It feels as though something incredible is going to happen, but I may never be the same again. It builds up and up inside me and I keep touching myself and I can really feel it, feel myself getting wetter and wetter, feel the sweat dripping down my legs, into the crack of my arse. And just as I feel as though I can’t take it anymore, can’t breathe anymore, can’t moan anymore, there is a massive relief and I can feel my cunt pounding and I put my fingers inside and feel every single movement. And when I finally start to breathe normally again, I put my fingers to my lips and lick the sweet taste of satisfaction.

    Then I go for round two.

    Please note: once I couldn’t walk properly for a few days because I’d played a game with myself entitled “How Many Times In A Row Can I Make Myself Come?” After eight times, the continued tensing of my thighs meant that I pulled a muscle and had a lot of fun explaining to people why I couldn’t walk up the stairs. Masturbation is dangerous, don’t do it.

  • This was certainly very challenging. Glad you issued/invited it!

  • Mal says:

    Amazing to read these comments. I can’t believe how varied orgasms are! Not one of these descriptions is like what I feel–the only thing I can compare it to is what falling off a cliff must feel like. I can almost never cum without penetration of some kind. It begins as a series of long, sharp prickles around the clitoris, or as this unbearable hot sensation in my g spot and then, if it’s a gentle orgasm, feathers out delicately and I sigh and enjoy it with a soft smile. But most often, he’s pounding inside me so it begins to build so hard that I’m almost afraid of the fall, but I’m helpless and it keeps pushing me faster and faster, until I fall off the cliff. The fall itself feels more like something in my gut is being ripped out–painless but so, so deep. At this point I’d be sinking either my teeth or nails into him, and making quite a bit of noise (well, not like I was quiet before, let’s just say the noise reaches a peak.) If it’s a serial orgasm, I tend to lose sense of everything, including myself and my partner but I can quite distinctively feel one orgasm follow another, it’s almost terrifyingly pleasurable, never letting you catch your breath, twisting up your insides, and you don’t know when, even if, it’s going to end, not that you have enough thoughts in your head to piece together to wonder about it at that point… and at the end of it, I’m left shaky and oversensitive, as if any touch can send me spiraling off again, even tightening my internal muscles. My stomach muscles are left trembling and it takes quite a while to catch my breath. But oh, the mental state after any sort of orgasm is one of incredible clarity and alertness. Physically wrecked I may be, but at that point, I’m probably at my most creative.

    • Girl on the net says:

      I agree – the fact that they’re all so different is brilliant – if I’m honest I’d expected a lot more of them to be similar, but it seems like everyone has a different perception of how they come, although there’s something in all of them that I can relate to (in yours it’s the falling thing – definitely the falling thing). Thank you for joining in and I’ll include yours in the next round up!

  • N. Likes says:

    Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote a detailed, similar description of my orgasm (or, really, my approach to it and the climax). It’s below. Maybe I’ll revisit it. This is a great project, GotN….

    Last night, I lay in bed. I took off my black cotton boxer briefs (J.Crew), and took my cock in my hand. My cock was hard, as I’d been touching it idly, stroking it, squeezing it, for the better part of an hour as I had gone back and forth between e-mailing and chatting and writing a post. And trawling for images for my Tumblr. There was no particular image in my mind, no porn stimulus – unusual for me. Usually, when I jerk off, it’s either to a very specific fantasy or to a stream of images or a video. But last night, I was focused on the impending orgasm – I wanted to be able to describe it, and so didn’t want to distract myself.

    As I rubbed, and squeezed, and stroked, I felt the sensation of cum slowly advancing, moving forward, up the curve in my cock. It’s a sensation not unlike having to pee (when I first started masturbating, I was confused because I thought I urgently had to pee and stopped and ran to the bathroom). But it’s a bit different – a bit… sweeter, more tingly. And, of course, from experience, I know what’s ahead feels so very different.

    So as the cum advanced, I felt myself automatically adjusting my pace, my fervor, to slow down, to drink in the sensation of the cum advancing, of the pressure building. Were I to keep going at the same pace and release my PC muscle (which I found myself naturally contracting), I would have cum. But by now, my PC muscle was contracting, and I was watching the interplay between increasing pressure and increasing contraction of the muscles, and the two together blend into a single delicious sensation of… of what? Not just anticipation, because there’s a pleasure in that very moment – not unlike the pleasure of a good stretch. There’s a tension, a tautness, a pressure, but it’s a good pressure, a good tautness. And it radiates out, concentrated in my cock, but flowing down my legs (my calves, in particular, tighten) and up my chest (my breathing becomes quicker, shallower, which I counter consciously by slowing it, deepening it).

    Now typically, at this point, I’d bring myself as close as I could to orgasm, and then would pull back, stopping altogether for just a few seconds, to give myself time to recover, before resuming. And I’d do that two, three, four, or six times, each time taking less and less time to approach the point of no return and pulling back, before finally giving in, and allowing myself to cum.

    Last night? I just wanted all my attention on the orgasm, and so I danced for just a moment at that spot – where a little faster would make me cum, a little slower would give me a break. I didn’t take a break, didn’t advance the ball, and just rested on that precipice – intense pressure in my cock, an alertness and tingling all over my body, my muscles contracting in advance of what was about to happen, and inhaling more and more deeply with each breath.

    Finally, I sped up just a tiny bit, increasing the pressure and the pace, and feeling the pressure of my semen build in intensity. The image in my mind was that of water, an enormous wave, pushing up against a dam – the pressure grew and grew, and then, in a moment, I knew the orgasm was starting.

    The first sensation was of a momentary vacuum of pressure – it was like that moment when you’re on a swing set and you reach the absolute peak of your arc: the swing isn’t going up any more, but it isn’t falling yet – it’s just hanging, suspended, momentarily immune from gravity or momentum. This was like that. The pressure just stopped, and the stopping was a relief, a pleasure. And then, the flood gates opened. My hips bucked, I started a long, grunting, groaning exhale as the first spurt of cum shot out of my cock. And there were twin sensations: of relief of pressure, and of an involuntary, strong squeezing, deep in my groin (in my balls? behind?).

    The relief of pressure is, structurally, like the sound of a gong or a bell: peak intensity at the initial moment of orgasm, with a gradual (linear?) reduction in intensity throughout the orgasm. The squeezing is much different: It’s pulsing, repeating, over and over, completely involuntary, and though the general trend is from the strongest, most intense squeeze to the tamest, almost imperceptible one, it’s not linear at all. Some pulses surprise me, being much stronger than the previous; others are much weaker.

    And over the course of some time (thirty seconds? a minute? three deep breaths?) the wave that has swept over me came to a halt and I was spent, lying limp. Every muscle that had contracted was released, relaxed.

    I swabbed up the mess I made on my belly with a t-shirt, and, being a boy, drifted off to sleep.

    • Girl on the net says:

      Wow, this is fantastic – I particularly like your swing analogy – I almost *felt* that as I read it. Spectacular =)

  • Nick says:

    If you want to know what it feels like to ejaculate the best image I can give is to think of blowing bubbles into milkshake through a straw. That delightful welling up and out with occasions where you blow too hard and get it down your dress.

    In detail though, as a penis user my orgasms occur in different places. The most satisfying ones have to involve three locations: the base of my penis (but more specifically grinding against my pelvis), my anus (actually I think it’s the perineum and just inside my anus at once) and my lips.

    Let’s imagine we’re in my favourite shape, with me sitting up and you on top and around me, flowing and covering me. There’s first of all this sensuous, tremulous, overwhelming rhythm in the way you ride me, and I struggle to focus on anything. Things have been building, now, for a long time and I know I’ve already had your cunt owning my face, so that your sweet and deep musk is still in my mouth and my fingers are wet and tricky with your joy on me. Know this: it’s important that you’re everywhere, because I need to lose myself through you to break from the constant watchful awareness that inhibits me. I might be loud but I haven’t a clue because this thinking being that lives slightly above the eyeballs is not home, not right now, and there’s altogether a different kind of creature moving me, and this energy is not limited by any notions of keratenous or cutaneous boundaries.

    And yet it is, isn’t it? It’s deeply attached to my separate bundles, my nodes and nodules, my nerves. It’s not my cock though, my knob is lost, yours now, deep inside you. Where I feel you is the wetness against my pubis, your teeth burrowing my shoulder, the flat of your fingers pressed against my anal ring, my tongue on the familiar hardness of your nipple, my hand buried in your hair, the other the small of your arched back. The swell is exquisitely powerful, thrumming louder, surging, demanding release, toxicly sweet with the dizziness, giddiness of my anoxic brain.

    When you finally rush me over the precipice, the sensation starts, probably, with your bite. The rush of pain kindles me, flashing across and down my spine like the firststrike of lightning where my muscles are the forests: tense, tindered, expecting for the firestorm. The wave of me rooting outwards and searching for contact, ignition, spark. I gasp and writhe as a thrill runs up the inbetween of both thighs and my testis tucked inside contract. I know inside my groin that I’m ready to empty out into you.

    This is where those places matter. Contact is where this rush of feeling, this inarticulate mass of nerve bundles meet – at the base of my cock, the above where my pubic hair has been ground down by your weight – this is where it happens. I feel myself unfurl from there, both in and out: the thrum goes to my contracting pelvic floor, tightening on a finger slipped inside, squeezing, which drives it to keep going, spasming hopelessly, shuddering, maintaining a pulse of me forward and now through and out into you. Again, it’s not really my member, it’s the pull of you, the everything of your cunt around it that I feel. Imagine if my cock was a tree pulling life up from the soil through its roots and those roots spread up through my abdomen and deep into my pelvis (I imagine to the prostate) and my spine, and all of these are feeding up, charged into this explosion that is now yours, that I am now given over to you with it.

    And as this vast network wrings itself out emptying me, there’s still some feeling in my face that’s left behind. I discharge it, lovingly, with gasping kisses that I run down your electric chest as I roll myself out of you, my lips buzzing, resonating to the echo of that thrill.

  • Misty says:

    I wrote my description as my blog post at the site listed above. It’s a new blog and I welcome comments, suggestions, and constructive criticism.

    Thank you for the challenge, I really enjoyed writing that and it’s probably not something I would have written for quite some time on my own.

  • Girl on the net says:

    This one was submitted via email by Simon, who’s tried to describe the female orgasm…

    Those quiverings and tightenings deep within

    The warm tingling that you can notice down below

    As the hornier you get, the more this heat spreads

    Imagining a fire burning deep inside you

    Taking you under its spell, tighter

    As you surrender to its power

    When you cannot resist squeezing your thighs, and rocking your hips

    When every tightening brings you nearer still

    Adrenaline rushes through

    As you bite your lip, yearning for what’s to come

    As your senses flicker hotter, brighter

    And a lust to consume stirs from within

    While words caress your ear, igniting your soul

    As filthy scenes loop inside your mind..

    Gasp… Whimper… Scream…

    Let your eyes widen – take it all in

    After all, it is your mind that is tainted

    As you feel it squeezing tighter now

    Like a firm hand around your neck

    The hornier you realise you are

    Bending mind, breath, and heart

    Vulnerable, exposed, helpless, corrupt

    Weaker and weaker still

    With your mind in all the filthiest places

    Wanting to vanish into the flame

    Sexy shivers more relentless in pursuit

    Finding yourself moaning louder and louder

    And you can’t help but notice

    This tightness that just keeps building

    In just the right places; it hits you

    You can feel it coming quicker now

    Wave after wave, taking over

    Flowing faster and faster

    Up and down, over your body

    Everywhere tingling, throbbing, pounding now

    With each and every breath

    As if you’re breathing cloud after cloud

    Of even more intoxicating arousal

    Because the more intense it gets

    The more you feel yourself losing control

    And before you can realise it

    Those tingles are everywhere

    And you’re beyond horny

    Stretching, aching

    Your gut squirming in fucklust

    The blood is pumping hard around your cunt

    You scream their name, cry out in pleasure

    As you reach this crescendo

    Hanging on this peak, about to fall

    To go over the edge, falling down, into the void

    Now you feel yourself begin to cum

    Letting go completely, an amazing relief

    Before a white-out where nothing but feeling consumes you

    Pleasure radiating, ten times better than ever before

    From the surface of your skin

    Through to your very core

    Deeper, deeper still

    As you keep falling, falling now

    Feel those flood gates opening more

    Overpowered by lust, by sweet sensation

    The ultimate rush and release

    With waves and waves of pleasure

    Washing over you,

    Feel them crashing, harder and harder

    As your back arches and whole body tenses

    Shooting sweeter and sweeter spasms

    With every beat of your throbbing heart

    Squeezing, clenching

    Twitching beautifully

    A powerful rapture

    Exploding from the centre of your sexual being

    Your release flowing through every muscle, every nerve ending, every fibre

    Eyes rolling back, lost in paradise

    Inside that filthy orgasmic head space

    Where your whole existence is sexual fulfilment

    And your whole body just screams for more

    Every wave of pleasure on a whole new level

    As you keep it coming still

    Over and over again

    Flowing from your cunt, up to your head

    Then down to your toes and your fingertips

    Mind and body swimming in their own orgasmic juices…

    Drained of energy and full of life

    Coming around slowly; weak, aching, sore

    A delighted hot mess, almost drooling now

    Such a filthy, messy girl


    Not wanting move a muscle

    Hoping you can stretch this out longer

    Addicted to this feeling, aren’t you?

    You wouldn’t trade this for anything.

  • Zuni says:

    My best orgasm:

    One beautiful day I was playing a porn game of just the right quality; good enough to excite but not not so good as to prompt immediate release. While I played I fucked my then-new Fleshlight. I had spent an hour sweating and thrusting in-and-out of my strangely textured pseudo-pussy when I started to feel my cumvein bursting with pressure trying to force its contents through the narrow seal between my fat cock and the tight-to-near-the-point-of-breaking pussy. My semen was boiling hot and begging to be released.

    Finally, my sperm forced it’s way through and my cock exploded with a slow explosion of ecstasy vibrating with a high frequency as if a powerful subwoofer had been hooked up to every nerve in my body. Each peak and valley of the vibration felt different but equally wonderful.

    I slammed my head back and roared at the top of my lungs and I had lost all my internal air but that didn’t stop me for then the wave of jubilation hit my head trapping me in a rigor eros. Every single neuron of my brain rejoiced and my senses failed save for that pure, vibrating pleasure for which any descriptors seem woefully insufficient. I was in void, my eyes stopped seeing, my ears stopped hearing, my mind stopped thinking, and all that remained was ecstasy. I spent an eternity there for I could no longer perceive time.

    When infinity reached its end I gained enough consciousness to look down and all I saw was the blurred image seen by eyes unfiltered by the brain. As my utter joy continued to wind down and make room in my brain to process I began to see but I did not comprehend. As when a newborn babe first beholds the world all I saw was alien and unfamiliar. What do I see? What do I touch? How do I move? Who am I? All unworded questions became answered in time as I figured how to link my perceptions to my memory and thus understand the world. I saw my dick still tightly gripped by a pussy that would never let go.

    It was a while yet before I could bring myself out of that sweet envelopment. I shlicked out with a lovely pop as air rushed to fill the emptiness left by my cock spilling not a drop of my cum in the process.

    I then showered with that beautiful pussy still enraptured and moaning softly with my orgasmic aftershocks. My balls felt as empty as my world had been some eternal minutes in the past. I kissed and cleaned that pussy for I loved it immensely then.

    I spent the rest of the day in a state of zen tranquility that can only come from absolute satisfaction.

  • Mia lee says:

    This may or may not count as a competition entry, since I don’t actually describe my orgasm. But either way it was inspired by this competition, and I honestly don’t mind if I am am not an entry :)

    Mia x

    • Girl on the net says:

      That is utterly spectacular – and I can relate to the feeling of frustration when living on your own. Although I think I have perfected the silent fingerwank now, having shared a room with my sister when I was young, and then had to share an actual bedroom at uni (oh the humanity!) I got some serious practise in =)

  • Stacey says:

    You know your morning stretch. How it feels to lose control over yourself and make that weird face. If you don’t than stretch your arms up out. There, that’s what an orgasm feels like. Except on you private.

  • Stewart says:

    The numbers refer to (relatively speaking) how good I’m feeling at the time.

    She and I remove our clothes and relax on the bed together. Cuddling, kissing, talking, laughing, letting the day’s stresses go away. (5)

    After a while, less talking, more kissing. Tongues get involved. So do hands. I caress her thighs and buttocks while she slowly strokes my hardening penis and rakes my testicles with her fingernails. Having an erection is like being a hunter and loading your gun — you’re very much looking forward to shooting it later. (9)

    I kiss her lips, her nose, her eyelids, her earlobes. I whisper to her of my love for her, and of my desire to fuck her. As I move my kisses down her neck, I slide two fingers into her warm, slippery vagina. Her clitoris is hard, and I gently massage it between my fingers. I am the man who has aroused her so. (15)

    My lips move to her soft 36DD breasts and her large, erect nipples. I am a breast man, and as I enjoy the size and softness of her tits, I marvel at how lucky I am to be with this beautiful, sexy woman. My cock grows larger and harder. (25)

    As I suck on her nipples, alternating back and forth, I continue to play with her clit until she almost comes. Then I kiss her lips passionately, and continue until her soft moans subside. Then back to her nipples again, still strumming her clit. She is rapidly stroking my cock now, increasing my need and my size, and smearing my pre-come all over my sensitive glans. (50)

    Her loud moans become screams as I bring her to orgasm. I keep playing with her clit and sucking her nipples, making her pleasure as intense and as long-lasting as I can. I love being the man who can do this for her. (100)

    She places one fingertip on my frenulum and moves it in little circles. My cock gets even longer and harder.

    She pulls me on top of her and spreads her legs wide apart. I slide inside her tight, slippery pussy. Her warmth flows down my throbbing rod, into my balls, and radiates through my entire body. She wraps her legs around my back, applying just the right friction to my ultra-sensitive cock-head. Her arms go around my neck as she presses her huge knockers against my chest. She looks at me, intense love in her eyes and a satisfied smile on her lips. I am ready to take my turn. (300)

    I thrust into her. Slowly at first, then harder, faster, more powerfully. I am not the only man she has ever fucked, but I am the only man whose cock keeps getting bigger and harder the more he fucks her, as she reminds me with cries of “You’re so fucking BIG! Fuck me HARD, you stud! Oh my God, you’re getting LONGER and HARDER!”
    Each thrust feels better than the one before it. (500)

    I reach the “Point of No Return”. The point where I feel the surge, deep in my balls, that tells me that I’m about to come and that NOTHING in the universe can stop it. I make my final thrust and lie in her embrace, as close to her and as deep inside her as I can be. (1000)

    I ejaculate. The first spurt of my sperm comes flying out. (2000)
    Then the second. (3000) I scream.
    The third. (4000) I am aware of her kissing my neck and moaning “I love you. I love you. I love you.” Heaven.
    A few more spurts. (5000)

    She grinds her hips in circles, increasing the friction on my cock-head. I scream again. (6000)

    Slowly, I come back to earth. My breathing returns to normal. My pulse will not do so for a long time. I lie next to her, and we kiss. “Thank you.” “Mmmm…..thank YOU.” (150)

    The feelings of fulfillment, love, lust, virility, and tenderness last for days.

    That’s what it’s like for me. I’m lucky.

  • Carina says:

    Every type of orgasm is different – when I masturbate, when he takes me from behind, when he eats me. Profoundly different but all good, and I want them all on my menu.

    My current partner (since nearly 6 years) gives me the most intense orgasms I have ever had. I am not even quite sure why, but the fact that he is circumcised and can go on for a long time, together with his girth, certainly helps a lot. And his sensitivity. He really pays attention.

    When he eats me, it is truly out of this world. Especially if we have been at it for a while beforehand, which is usually the case. It’s both private and shared, and I go places in my mind where angels fear to tread. Orgasm builds like a cloud all around me, that suddenly contracts into a dense ball and explodes like a geyser. As it rises, it rips through me like a tornado, pulling me through a range of intense emotions within seconds – pleasure or pain? – and I stay with it for as long as he licks me; it can soar and soar for… I don’t really know how long, but it just goes on, until it opens out into what feels like an opalescent landscape of thick, warm powder snow. At this point I usually whoop with peals of laughter: pure joy. I am pretty loud throughout, but it goes from growl to keening howl until my breath runs out. After a couple of minutes, I usually end up in my joyous warm snow landscape, and after that I absolutely glow and shimmer: completely out of this world, incapable of straight thought.

    Coming while he takes me from behind is very different; like a deep, aching, cramping, ripping, growling release that is blood red in every way. I am particularly keen on that as I near my period: I need something other than opalescent joy at that point.

    All the ways I come with my man is my lifeline to being a civilised partner: if we go past 3-4 days (we live near each other but not together), because there is too much else going on or if we are apart for some reason, an increasingly dense and urgent ball of raging desire builds inside that disrupts my best efforts to want to play nice. And no amount of masturbation takes more than a very slight edge off that. I need sex to be able to be near him. Sex turns the restless Dynamo inside into a fount of good things: resilience, good humour, generosity, love. Luckily he has a solid cock, and I haven’t broken him yet (though we have occasionally been close – and I am currently nursing a sore ligament in my thigh that I managed to pull while straddling him vigorously).

    Masturbation is a completely private world. Not as intense; nowhere near it. I don’t even like to compare the two: they are quite different, and the after effects are different, too. If I am on my own, I do it when I need a break from work, or as a lullaby to myself. And I sometimes sneak one when my partner is in the next room, even though I often do so when we have sex, too. Occasionally, I just want to give myself one, discreetly. It is something like minding my own boundaries – as much as I love and need sex together, I also need to reclaim myself sometimes.

    It’s all good. But the best total mind-soul-body-fry is definitely when he eats me. He has a magic mouth.

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