Guest blog: Couple crush

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Sometimes I struggle to come up with ideas on what to write about. I’m ideally looking for something that makes me go ‘ooh’ and makes a bunch of other people go ‘OMG yeah me too.’ So basically, if you pitch me a guest blog that makes me do both of these things, I will bite your hand off.

This week’s is one that’s just like that.

I’ve rarely seen anyone talk about getting a crush on a couple, but I get it ALL THE TIME. Like, ALL of the time. And I don’t just mean Frank and Claire Underwood – couples I know in real life, see in the street or the park being all sexy with each other and smooching each other’s faces off.

Ever had a couple crush? RB has, and she’s going to tell you all about it…

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That face fucking look

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There’s a look that says ‘I want to do this so badly.’ It’s similar to the look that says ‘I’m going to do this.’ The expression that says both ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ at the same time.

It usually comes from above.

I’m on my knees, or – as is the case in this story – lying on the sofa. Tired and horny and lazy and just that bit too Sunday-night-knackered to move. And he gets the look.

It’s straight-faced. Dark. A shadowy playfulness just behind it, but no hint of an actual smile. He stares directly at me, saying nothing. I look up, eyes wide with anticipation. Sometimes I’ll ask ‘what do you want?’ but far more often, I don’t. Because I know exactly what he wants: he wants to pull out his thick, warm cock, and fuck… well, not me specifically, but something. Anything.

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Do I have a smoking fetish?

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god now i really fancy a fag

Image by the excellent Stuart F Taylor

I’m pretty obnoxious and annoying sometimes. I can be far too loud in some situations, and far too quiet in others. Sometimes I sit nervously in a corner checking my phone because I’m too shy to introduce myself. At other times, I drink a couple of pints in rapid succession to calm my nerves and end up saying things I wouldn’t say if I was sober. Both of these traits, along with many others, have caused me to miss out on opportunities to get laid. But none more so than one thing: smoking.

I smoke. And I kind of want to add ‘too much’ to that, but realistically smoking at all is usually too much when seen through the eyes of a non-smoker. When I was dating, the sheer number of people who’d write ‘I can’t stand smokers’ on their dating profiles, or tick the boxes that say ‘smoking is a dealbreaker’ means my pool of potential shag buddies was severely limited.

But smoking has also helped me get laid. Not because men see me across a crowded beer garden and go ‘oh look, her who’s too pissed to light the right end: she’s the one for me’, but because for the best part of my formative years, smoking was considered cool.

Which means that I have a really fucked up relationship with smoking and sex.

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Guest blog: A hot first time sex story

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A fetish for men - Gloria BrameThis week’s guest blogger is Dr Gloria Brame, and she’s got a smoking hot story to share. Gloria is a clinical sex therapist, a leader in radical sex theory and education, and she founded the world’s first online BDSM support group. She’s best known for her books Different Loving and The Truth About Sex, which promote evidence-based, pro-diversity perspectives on human sexuality.

Here, though, she’s sharing something raw and hot and personal, which relates to a story in her latest book – A Fetish for Men (Amazon US link).

I love first time sex stories, particularly if they set off that spark of recognition – I remember feeling like this when sex was new: fascinating and addictive and a bit scary and hot as all hell.

Here’s Gloria’s story.

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