Allow me to answer the question on everyone’s lips: what on Earth is this for?
When I first had a look at a Doxy Skittle – at Eroticon this year – I asked the boss of Doxy. He said: “Well, what would you use it for?” to which I naturally replied:
For confirmation, I took a picture and emailed it to a bloke I like with the subject line: “Butt stuff?” and he confirmed: “Butt stuff.”
Last week I got hold of one, and it sat on my bedside table, occasionally whispering temptingly to me until it was all I could do to grab the nearest willing bloke and cover him in lube and enthusiasm. Then on Friday night I got to use it and… holy shit. That is definitely at least one of the things you can use it for.
Here comes the usual caveat about how I don’t do sex toy reviews. Other people do them way better than I could, which is why I run the Sex Fairies thing (to let other people try out toys), and why so far I’ve only really reviewed the Doxy massager (love of my life). I’m only writing about this Skittle thingy because I love the Doxy massager so much that I wanted to see if any other Doxy toy could work the same kind of magic. If you want to know the details of a toy: what it’s made from, how big it is, how it compares to others, all that jazz, then you need to go to an expert – Cara Sutra has a review up with more info, and she knows her stuff.
So yeah, if you want all the technical details, go there. If, on the other hand, you want to know how to grind out a sweaty, desperate orgasm by shoving something really hard into your ass, then here’s my two cents.
Using the Doxy Skittle on a guy I like…
I love prostates: they are magical and brilliant. That’s not to say that everyone who has one enjoys having it tickled with a finger or two, but for those who do, butt-plugs and vibrating prostate massagers are naturally a pretty exciting addition to a fuck, or one of those special-treat wanks where you empty your sex toy drawer and really go to town.
One of the reasons I was so excited by the Doxy Skittle is because, having spent the last eighteen months or so frigging myself cross-eyed with the Doxy massager, I wanted to see if I could give that same experience to someone who didn’t have a clit.
Like I say, I’m not a sex toy reviewer, so I do not know the technical terms. But the pulse setting on the Doxy massager goes drrrrrrrr DUH drrrrrrrr DUH, where each DUH feels like a seismic ripple that thuds through from the surface of your skin where you’re holding the Doxy, right through to the pit of your stomach, where all the sexy lusts happen. Luckily, the Skittle has the same pulse setting, so I sucked this guy’s cock for a while until he was ready, shoved the Skittle in him, then held down the ‘on’ button like it was the futuristic key to the gates of heaven.
It doesn’t look much like other sex toys. It vibrates, of course, but it is powered by mains rather than battery, so instead of giving a tinny ‘zzzzh’, it gives a kind of thumping oscillation. If you cup your hand round it gently, like you’re testing the hardness of a loved-ones penis, you can feel it bumping against the skin on the inside of your fist. It thuds.
It’s at this point that my toy review falls down, to be honest, because I don’t know what to say other than ‘it worked.’ Not ‘worked’ like ‘oh so I picked up some WD40 from B&Q and now the door doesn’t jam any more’ but ‘worked’ like ‘I couldn’t get the door open so I blew it to pieces with an explosive charge and now nothing will be the same again but in a good way because who needs doors.’
As ever, Doxy has succeeded in making a thing that both looks weird and feels awesome, and makes feelings happen in your body that are Different to all the other feelings.
The Doxy Skittle on me…
Let’s look at it the other way round, because the excellent thing about butt toys is that almost everyone can use them.
As a general rule I don’t tend to put stuff in my arse using my own fair hands, I prefer to let guys do that because I am a bit of a wuss, and they are usually able to get a better angle on it than I am. But I was pissed, and I really wanted a turn with it (we’d given it a wash since the previous time because I am the queen of health and safety even when I’m four ciders down). When I’ve used similar things – vibrating butt plugs and the like – the fact that the guy can feel the vibrations through the walls of my cunt has produced rather brilliant sensations and exceptionally explosive jizz.
Anyway. All you need to know is that I don’t usually shove things in my own arse, but I got carried away because I really wanted to see what the effect of the Doxy Skittle was if I moved it around while a dude was fucking me. So I put one leg behind my head, pushed the Doxy Skittle really tightly into my arse, then told him to fuck me like I’d been bad.
It was pretty awesome.
Especially because, as the controls for the Doxy Skittle are on a separate bit (i.e. not on the toy itself – see my exceptionally scientific diagram below), he was able to change the vibrations to suit what he liked, while I focused mainly on fucking myself with it at various angles, and trying not to screech like a wounded harpy.
Using the Doxy Skittle on your clit and/or vagina…
Yes, this is also a thing, and it is a very nice thing indeed.
While the Doxy Skittle is excellent for butt stuff, it’s not solely for butt stuff. I just used it (again, after having washed it) to have a wank. And in editing this blog post I popped into the room next door to try it again, just in case I was wrong about it the first time, and also because it’s midday and time for a pre-lunch hand shandy. It was still good.
The nobbly bit on the end can be used either against your clit, or in your cunt, angled so the smaller bump nudges up against your clit. It’s pretty exceptional, and a nice change from my normal Doxy massager, which I use so often that I’ve started to have hypothetical arguments with it about what it will get me for Valentines Day.
Other things you can do with the Doxy Skittle…
The guy I used it with kicked some ideas around with me, and here are some things we came up with that we’re yet to try:
- Me sitting on it and using it to wank while he shags me in the arse.
- Clit stimulation, during sex – similar to what we do sometimes with the Doxy massager, where it lies flat on the bed and I have to buck and grind against it while he stays on top. Like a slippery sex rodeo.
- Bury it on Mars to confuse future NASA explorations.
Please feel free to imagine your own sex scenarios, and let me know in the comments so I can copy your good ideas. Now here’s a diagram of the Doxy Skittle, with all the bits labelled for science, below are the answers to some anticipated questions, and here is a link to go and buy one.
FAQs about the Doxy Skittle
So is it good then?
Yes. It’s good like – oh, I don’t know, insert whatever superlatives best sum up what you love. It’s good like Cadbury’s Dairy Milk and individual portions of Cathedral City cheddar. Good like that moment you’re on a plane and it’s about to take off and the jets kick in. Good like the original Doxy. Good like when you get fucked and you love it.
Are there any down sides?
The nobbly bit could be bigger, or could magically change size depending on whose arse it’s in, but to be honest the power of shapeshifting is quite a lot to ask of any toy. Also, I have done a lot of butt stuff, so I might just be used to things which are massive.
How much does it cost?
It retails for just under £80, and obviously most sites will do deals and whatnot. You can get it from my sponsor SexToys.co.uk with 10% off (use code GOTN10 at the checkout), so that makes it just over £70. If you’re in the US (or Canada, or other places that aren’t the UK) you can grab one from SheVibe. You’ll support my site by buying anything from these two places so I’ll love you if you do. It’s not compulsory, though, despite my relentless campaigning on the matter.
Is it worth it?
I reckon so. If it’s anything like the Doxy massagerit should last a long time – I’ve had mine for around 18 months, average about 2 uses per day (I work from home), and it’s still going strong.
I am a guy and I am nervous about putting things in my bum because society tells me that this makes me wrong or bad in some way. What should I do?
If anyone tells you this then they need to go fuck themselves. Then, when they have fucked themselves, I hope they realise that there is nothing wrong with enjoying all the wonderful sexy things about your own body.
In all seriousness, though, I occasionally get emails from guys who have been given the wrong and judgmental impression that sex toys are not for them. You might like to read this post on why people shouldn’t shame guys for using sex toys, and I hope that if you fancy trying something like this (or any other butt plug, dildo, what have you) then you get to do so, and banish twats like this from your mind. The only things that should matter when it comes to wanking are: 1. safety (no improvised butt plugs or what have you), 2. your happiness and 3. how much hassle it is to get sex stains out of your bedsheets.
Can you tell me things like how loud it is and how big it is and what colours it comes in and what batteries it takes?
– It’s quieter than the original Doxy. You shouldn’t have a problem unless your walls are paper-thin.
– It’s roughly the size of a can of Coke.
– It comes in black.
– You plug it into the mains. It has buttons.
Does it make your hand do that weird buzzy thing like what happens when you use a mouse sander for too long?
Yes. Its power makes it quite fizzy, but I don’t notice that until I’ve stopped wanking, and then I feel like I have a magic hand.
Can you give it marks out of ten?
Next you’ll be asking for the square root of a beautiful sunset or the metric weight of joy.
Are you paid by Doxy/some shadowy megacorp with a vested interest in making us all wank ourselves into a stupor so we’re too sated to challenge the capitalist hegemony?
No. Doxy gave me the Doxy Skittle for free, because they’re nice. They didn’t ask me to review it, I just wanted to write something. My blog is partly funded by sponsorship, but not from Doxy (see this page for more details). And while we’re on full disclosure, the boss of Doxy once bought me a massive glass of wine.
I have forgotten where you said to buy one, please could you cram in another shameless plug?
Certainly. Cramming shameless plugs in is what I am all about. If you buy from either of the following sites, you support my blog:
- Buy Doxy Skittle from SexToys.co.uk (if you’re in the UK!). Use code GOTN10 to get 10% off.
- Buy Doxy Skittle from SheVibe in the US.
Other retailers available, of course. You can view a few more on the Doxy website.