Two things: how women should behave and Smut Slam

Image by the ace Stuart F Taylor

It’s been a while since I posted a ‘two things’, so in case you’ve forgotten – ‘two things’ is a weekly post highlighting one good thing and one bad thing in the world of sex. Today in the ‘bad’ column – a reddit thread in which men are invited to have opinions on how women should behave. And ‘good’ – a sexy storytelling event in London called Smut Slam, which you should go to if you get the chance. If you read to the end there’s also a bonus competition to win an Eroticon ticket…

The bad: opinions on women

We all have different taste. The kind of person who makes your heart and loins flutter might be the kind of person who turns me off, and vice versa. While we might agree on some universally awful behaviours (being rude to restaurant staff, trying to push your way onto the train before everyone who needs to has got off), chances are when it comes to fancying someone, we’ll all have slightly different desires.

Which is why this reddit thread, in which men explain what makes women ‘boring’, really annoys me.

Sure, there are some things in there I’d probably agree with – people who don’t ask any questions on a date, for instance, leaving you with the impression that they’re not interested in any of your thoughts or opinions. But I’d say that’s a boring (or impolite) thing to do no matter what your gender.

Nah, the thing that annoyed me most is that the most upvoted comment is this one:

“Inability to flirt back or make jokes back. I give it a while to see if they open up, but if they never do, it’s a bad sign. If we’re together for a long time, there will be times the only things we can say to each other are jokes or flirty things. They need to be able to play off me or let me play off them. Otherwise it’s just not fun.”

Fair enough. It’s a bit rubbish if you make a joke and it falls flat. But before you condemn women with no sense of humour as ‘boring’, consider how often women are told not to make jokes, in case men don’t like themConsider how frequently the ‘can women be funny’ debate crops up. Consider that while men are generally lauded for being funny, funny women are often viewed with suspicion. It’s great that this guy is flying the flag for funny women, but there’s more work to do here, I reckon.

The good: Smut Slam

On Wednesday this week, Dave Pickering – who did the amazing storytelling show Mansplaining Masculinity – is co-running a storytelling evening with Cameryn Moore, who is an award-winning playwright/performer, sex activist, educator, and phone sex operator.

It’s called Smut Slam, and the idea is that people put their names down to tell one short (less than 5 minute) story from their sexual past, and then eight to ten names are drawn at random. If you’re picked, you go up on stage to tell your story, and then there are prizes and fun and all the good stuff. You don’t have to tell a story, though – if you’re shy you can just sit in the audience and enjoy listening to other people’s.

The Facebook event is here if you want all the details.

BONUS: win an Eroticon ticket

In case you missed it, over at Eroticon we’ve got two tickets to give away to the conference in March. So if you’re a sex blogger/writer/creative or you aspire to be, come and enter the competition.

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