I’ve been doing a lot of archive trawling recently, to try and select the best sexy blog posts to turn into audio porn. On my travels, I have been reminded of some of the truly amazing guest blogs that people have submitted here over the years. So I thought it would be a nice opportunity to point you to some of my favourite archive content: sexy thoughts, cool ideas and funny anecdotes from the wonderful guest bloggers who’ve dropped by to tell their own stories. Please read, enjoy, and share your favourites.
There’s no hard-and-fast rule I use to decide what to include in these lists: some are here because they’re really popular, others because they deserve more attention, or just because I had fun re-reading them and I think you will too. Titles below link through to the full post, so click to read the whole thing!
“Some crushes burn slowly, like incense, gradually filling your mind until you’re incapable of smelling anything but their honeyed fragrance, and you can’t look at a fucking lamp without thinking about what it would look like being knocked onto the floor when you sit them up on the desk and rip their knickers off.”
By Jon, of Things I Have Done To Impress Women
“I have pictured this for so long. How decorous we will be in public then, as soon as we are in the hotel room, you push me up against the wall.”
By an anonymous reader
“First, think about the word: kiss. A hard start and soft finish. Kiss. Your lips are forced apart as you make the sound, your tongue is pushed forward to the teeth: the very word should make you lick your lips and want to pucker up. Think about the word ‘lips’. Say it, softly, to yourself and feel your tongue flick down before your mouth closes and opens again and leaves you again with that soft lingering ending. Even words like ‘lingering’ can be played with in the same way, rolled around the tongue, teeth and lips to produce a moment where the word is the thought is the act is the feeling. How are you feeling now? Ready?”
“Best friend was surprisingly gracious – she accepted a Smirnoff Ice and made herself scarce, leaving me and the conquest that was rightfully hers to make small talk for all of ten minutes, before he dragged me to a dark corner and shoved his tongue in my mouth and his fingers in my knickers. At some point we presumably got slightly over eager, because a bouncer came over, tapped him on the shoulder and asked if we’d mind taking it outside.”
“No one has made the first move yet and all you have is heavily layered conversation where you can barely focus on the words because even talking to each other makes you wet, and you’re zoned in on her mouth, her lips… her skin and her eyes, boring into yours and you both know that you’re going to see a lot more than each other’s eyes later on… but not yet. That anticipation, that mutual magnetism, is pretty rare yet so delicious. The excitement, and the wonder that you might be mistaken, that she might not want you and it’s all in your head and the electricity that zaps right down through you at the thought of her is what makes the whole exchange magical.”
As ever I am hugely indebted to all the amazing guest bloggers and anonymous contributors who share their work here. If you’d like to write a guest post, please check out the guidelines and send me something; I’d love to read it. If you’ve pitched me and haven’t had a reply feel free to nudge me as well. You can see all past guest blogs here.