Save all your spunk for me

Image by the brilliant Stuart F Taylor

Me: It was so fucking hot yesterday when I edged and teased you for ages. Do you have a massive load of spunk to dump inside me today?

Him: *sheepishly* I had a wank.

Me: Oh OK! No worries.

Him: Sure?

Me: Yes of course hahahaha of course totally fine no worries at all!

My brain: You’re a really terrible liar, GOTN.

Spunk is really sexy. An unusually massive load of spunk is, proportionately, even sexier. Whether you’re coming on my tits, my arse, my stomach or inside me, the larger the load you splatter, the hotter it will be. Same is true of force as it is for quantity: give me loads of spunk, shot with power, right into my eager little face. Not everyone’s going to feel the same way about jizz as I do, of course, but as someone who frequently fantasises about wallowing in huge quantities of spunk, it would be odd if I didn’t accept this as a simple fact of my own sexuality: I like big loads of spunk. The more of it there is, the better.

As a jizz enthusiast, one of the things I get most excited by is the fuck that comes after a really long period of build-up. Perhaps after a couple of hours of teasing and edging someone, or a whole day of hanging around the house and casually fucking when the mood takes us, but never quite letting him make it to completion. It’s not just for the faces he makes (although that ‘please please please let me put it in you’ look gives me the cunt shivers like nothing else), or the fact that his erection by the end of the day will be red and hard and sore he’s so desperate to come… it’s partly because I know that when we finally do fuck, there’ll be much more spunk than there usually is.

And part of the unspoken deal is that I get to choose where his jizz goes:

  • in my cunt, nice and deep so I can feel it pumping really thickly into me, then afterwards get that delicious sensation of it slipping out between my lips and dripping down the back of my thighs when he pulls out.
  • on my tits, so I can rub my hands in it and smear it over as much of my body as possible.
  • in the crack of my arse, where again the sheer volume of it pumping directly onto my skin and dripping down me makes me want to lube myself up with it and get ready for a second go.
  • in my ass itself, when he’ll put out of my cunt at the end of a shag and press just the tip against me, then moan ‘good girl’ as he spits jizz inside like it’s just the most convenient place in which to dispose of it.

And oh so many more.

Problem is, of course, that I’m not always around to reap my spunky reward. Sometimes we build and build and then I get tired and go to bed, or vice versa. At other times we build and then end up having an argument which leaves neither of us in the mood for fucking.

And occasionally, like this weekend, we spend ages on the build-up then I have to go out for a whole day, and he spends half the morning edging himself to frustration before finally giving in and letting go. Dammit! All that precious, sexy spunk released somewhere other than onto or into my body. Without me being there to even witness it! It’s enough to make a girl weep.

At the same time, though, this girl knows that any expression of disappointment will probably be a Bad Thing in the long run. An Unfair Thing. After all, it’s his body – he can do what he likes with it. It’s not really my spunk, it’s his. He can spaff it wherever he likes.

But that doesn’t stop me being a little bit sad when I think of all the plans I had for that giant load of spunk. When I’d fucked and wanked and blown him over and over again in order to work him into the perfect state: brimming full of rich, sexy spunk. Ready to shoot it into or onto me as I wriggled eagerly under the splattering torrent.

So when he looks sheepish about having a wank, I’m torn: part of me is genuinely gutted that I missed out on what I picture in my head to be a seriously powerful orgasm. But another, better part of me understands that I can’t make him feel guilty for wanking: that’s a dangerous and miserable path to go down, and it ends with one or both of us developing a weird complex and being unable to talk about masturbation in the open and direct way that we talk about it right now.

I need to find a compromise somehow. Something to distract my face from the drooping disappointment that I’m sure is written all over it. I need to find a way to celebrate the fact that he had a lovely – and no-doubt satisfying wank – without sounding like I’m a child throwing a tantrum because I haven’t had the treats I’ve been promised.

So I muster a wobbly smile, put one hand on his knee, and ask in a plaintive whimper: “please can you… you know… describe it to me?”

My brain: Nicely done, GOTN. Nicely. Done.

21 Comments

  • LXC says:

    Well, this answers an old question of mine. So much about wanking on this blog, when surely many partners would feel cheated by that. And especially women, for exactly the reasons pointed out above.

    • Girl on the net says:

      I mean… yeah, many other women may also feel this way, and like me many other women will recognise that out but reactions aren’t necessarily the best things to act on. Likewise the other way round.

  • D says:

    Love this! As a guy I can relate that I prefer to shoot a massive load onto my partner as it makes her feel even sexier when the amount is huge (and with some force!) as if they’re so goddamn sexy you’ve made more of the stuff just for them! But, as I guy who loves edging when his partners out and waiting for her to return to deliver said amount, I can understand sometimes you take yourself too far over the edge or can’t get anything done because your impending ejaculation becomes your only focus! Once I’ve came I always feel bad that I’ve either lost my sex drive or I produce a much smaller amount for her. On the plus side I can last longer but I definitely feel your pain. I’ll bet plenty of guys can relate!

  • the guy says:

    Look you’re not seeing it as we men do.

    First, stop that self-guilt thing. You’ve got it wrong.

    Second, it’s YOUR cum. There’s only one person addicted to it and it certainly isn’t the host. We provide just for you girls.

    Third and last, look for concrete solutions instead of ruminating endlessly about it; make it up to him and tell him to freeze it or collect it if you can’t deal with the waste. He will do as you say because there’s no other reason to have sex.

    Good luck for the rest,

    A man

    • Girl on the net says:

      Hmmmmmm. So I almost replied to this comment last night but I thought I’d sleep on it because… there’s something really odd about it and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it at first glance. Initially it sounds like you’re trying to be nice by offering some kind of reassurance and a solution to the (let’s face it) not massively huge problem of me sometimes wanting all the spunk.

      But then as I think through your comment a little more, it becomes clear to me why it rubbed me up the wrong way. It’s not about me, it’s about you. You have this attitude, and you’re not just suggesting it as one possible way to overcome these kinds of worries, but as the *only* thing to do in a situation. A situation which, by the way, I’m pretty happy with – I like exploring my thoughts around this kind of stuff, because it’s interesting and revealing and hot, not all of my blog posts are requests for advice from ‘a random man who speaks for all other men.’ You seem to think that me writing a thing to explore my weird feelings on an issue is actually some kind of cry for help, even though I didn’t ask for solutions. You’ve assumed that this is a conversation I have never had with my actual boyfriend, and as a result you’re offering unsolicited advice that neither of us really needs.

      “First, stop that self-guilt thing. You’ve got it wrong.”
      Except I haven’t, because my partner and I have talked about this loads – it’s totally fine for me to want his spunk, but would be overstepping the agreed boundaries of our relationship if I started *demanding* it (not to mention making sex and wanking way less fun for him as he had to stress about when he was and wasn’t ‘allowed’ to jizz)

      “Second, it’s YOUR cum”
      No, it’s his. As decided by…drum roll… him.

      “There’s only one person addicted to it and it certainly isn’t the host. We provide just for you girls.”
      It’s OK for men to wank when their partners aren’t there. It’s perfectly healthy, please don’t tell men that their spunk is only there ‘for you girls.’ Also, I am not ‘addicted’ to spunk, I just like it.

      “make it up to him and tell him to freeze it or collect it if you can’t deal with the waste”
      Not in any way my kink, mate.

      “He will do as you say because there’s no other reason to have sex.”
      I don’t want him doing ‘as I say’ if what I say makes him uncomfortable. There are loads of reasons to have sex other than just to fulfil my love of spunk.

      Signing off ‘a man’ doesn’t mean that your opinion can – and should – be assigned to every single man. It’s weird that you picked ‘the guy’ as your username as well – as if men are The Borg and one’s opinion is good enough to count for all of them.

  • the guy says:

    You’re overthinking this in a way we don’t, same for your reply. If you want to be offended about it may it be then.

    • Girl on the net says:

      “we”
      You know, it’s possible to have your own opinion – it doesn’t have to be representative of all men. This conversation could have been more fun for both of us if you hadn’t felt the need to act as if you were a spokesperson for every single dude alive.

      • the guy says:

        Believe it or not but men and women aren’t neurogically wired the same way for a bunch of different biological reasons that I’m sure you’re aware of, probably resulting in what I qualify here of “overthinking”.
        Furthermore, the worries you project towards your partner aren’t reciprocal nor even proportionally reciprocal, simply because he’s never been in your position (fun choice of word) and will never be; he’s not the person having sex with himself. His worries, may them be anxious as yours seem, or not, are certainly not related in any way to what you could ever remotely imagine.
        Remember also that projection may also make him worried for reasons that are absolutely unknown to him since his input or whatever advice he could bring to this topic (your questions) is most likely irrelevant given that, again, he’ll never be that person having sex with him.

        To put it strictly, it’s like if you’re a Mac, him Windows, and you both operate in proprietary codes. A computer can’t send its very own code to the other without expecting an erroneous translation from the other. Still, tasks are compatible but not codes, therefore you want to send the task and let him do it with his own code.

        • Girl on the net says:

          Re: our ‘brains are wired differently’ this piece by neuroscientist Dean Burnett gives a good overview for the layperson as to why that statement is – at best – flawed. https://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2013/dec/04/male-female-brains-real-differences

          “it could be that the human brain develops in accordance to what it experiences, and things it experiences and is made to do more often are reflected in the sorts of connections that develop. This would suggest that there aren’t actually any marked differences between male and female brains. However, this would mean that there is no scientific basis for all of our stereotypes and prejudices about what certain sexes should/shouldn’t do and they all stem from irrational or unpleasant cultural influences that haven’t gone away yet, forcing us to admit to ourselves that our preconceived notions about certain sexes or genders are just self-fulfilling clichés with no logical basis, potentially threatening our beliefs, our positions and even our identity.”

          And to the rest of your comment I will just sigh and repeat what I said before: I talk to my boyfriend about this a lot. He probably knows his own mind better than you do. It’s like I’m using a Mac, he’s using Windows, and we literally email each other to discuss things, and listen to what the other one has to say.

          • Kitty says:

            It’s hard to know where to begin with this, GotN, but also speaking as a man I can perhaps form a more succinct reply to “the guy” beyond what the diplomacy required by your blogger position does not afford. To wit:

            Fuck off. You do not speak for me.

            I’m particularly riled by the final sentence. “He will do as you say because there’s no other reason to have sex.” I mean, wait, what, really? There is literally NO REASON to have sex other than to produce spunk? Really?

            (I don’t expect you to approve this post, and that’s fine. Who argues on the bottom half of the internet, after all. But, well… ugh. Ugh ugh ugh.)

          • Girl on the net says:

            I thoroughly enjoy this comment – thanks! It’s nice to have nice company down in this half of the internet =)

          • Valery North says:

            Well said!

            It’s not even an analogy that makes the point he wants it to: these days both Mac and PC use the same basic Intel chip architecture. You can literally run MacOS X on any Windows PC and vice versa, based on which OS you choose to install (i.e. socialisation) – or (twisting the analogy another way and possibly beyond what it can bear) you can go nonbinary and pick one of the many Linux distros out there (I identify with Ubuntu, personally).

        • crashmatt says:

          Just to echo the comments of GoTN and Kitty – “the guy” does not speak for me, or for all men. Dude, express *your* opinion, flawed as it is, be prepared to learn. Don’t presume to speak for an entire gender.

  • Gst says:

    As a guy, I can’t help but notice that nearly every comment on this blog and others like it that comes from men is combative or passive aggressive. It sucks. I come here to cum here, not to lose my erection reading some garbage distraction from some Men’s Rights a-hole.

    Ok rant over

    Love your work GOTN

  • Fiona says:

    Welcome back :)

  • Pinkgilly15 says:

    Well this all this absolutely a great comment from the gentleman. How I wish the rest could be educated to this level.

  • ftandhubby says:

    First off thanks for getting your blog in order. Life gets filled up with so many other distractions and your e-mails/blog is one that I really look forward to. Now for the topic at hand. I love that you love his cum, that you want it for yourself, that your disappointed if it end up somewhere else. I wrestle with the same dilemma with my cum. I enjoy a bit of getting off but then if i cum I have less for her and when I do fuck her I want her to have, feel and enjoy it. Right this moment- I’m a bit turned on, I could have some fun, jerk off and move on with my day but I really want her to get it so my point is I think men and woman share these feelings. I know its a bit nasty but in the same way you crave his spunk I love her saving her wet panties for me…..it must be love. And now I think I’m going to go find a pair, but I won’t cum….I’m saving that for her!

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